
Wrongo. It's "a girl with kaleidoscope eyes," you doofus. And her peepers are just like this very excellent kaleidoscope with a big clear glass marble eye at one end, so everything you point it at is kaleidoscoped. You ought to see how cool the giant frog on our desk looks all split up into funky geometric patterns. And you could, if you bought this. And if you had a giant frog. The device is an 8-1/4" long x 1" dia cardboard tube covered with diffraction grating paper (we'll pick 2 different colors and/or patterns), with a triple FS mirror inside. Would make a honey of an inspirational tool for fabric designers and artists, too.
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90211 KALEIDOSCOPE |
Push in the front of your big rubber bloodshot eyeball, set it on the desk and watch is pop a good 4 to 5 feet into the air with a very satisfying "pwaaaaap" sound. Soars above the tallest cubicle walls for those slow afternoons when the boss is gone for the day. A hollow half-sphere 2-1/8" dia, it would also make a nice Cyclopsian third eye for your forehead-or buy a pair and glue them to your glasses for your next driver's license photo. Bureaucrats love a gag.
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92799 POPPIN EYE BALL |
is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.
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36603 WHOOPEE CUSHION |
In your boogie buggy. The straight blue or green, or curved green, neon tubes pulse to the music. The straight ones are 4" long x 3/8" dia with steady-state and sound-sensitive switchable modes with variable control for the sound sensitivity. Tubes have a 6-foot lead with a miniplug connection to the 2-5/8" wide x 2-1/8" deep x 1-1/8" high control box. That in turn has a 40" lead terminating in a cigarette lighter plug with a 1A 250V fast-acting fuse. Draws 200 mA at 12VDC and comes with mounting screws and double-sided tape. The even hipper 7" curved tube is green neon and pulses from the center out.
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36590 GREEN NEON | |
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36591 GREEN PULSARC |
THE American classic novelty item (even ahead of the whoopee cushion and rubber vomit, we think) is a set of chattering choppers. Auto-dentures. Invented by Eddy Goldfarb in 1949, a man who made the Toy Industry Hall of Fame ahead of Milton Bradley, these are, not to put too fine a point on it, the sine qua non of gagdom, the ne plus ultra of spring-driven frivolity. Ours are 2-1/2" dia, with a wind-up key.
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92824 CHATTERING TEETH |
You can't start them too young on visual fantasies. Get this cute pair of small (5-7/8" long x 1-3/4" dia) plastic kaleidoscopes with cartoon animals on the outside and brightly colored geometric shapes making happy patterns on the inside. For age two and up.
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36762 KALEIDOSCOPE |
Pick from a pair of little packs. The black nylon fanny pack was made for a personal stereo but is just large enough, at 6" x 4-1/2" x 2", for a wallet and keys and a few extras, plus it has a cell-phone-sized, zippered 3-1/2" x 2-1/2" compartment alongside the main one, and an adjustable, 34" long strap with a buckle closure. As a bonus they might even have a little left over adhesive on the pack from the label after it is removed. The waist pack is also zippered black nylon, 5" x 4" x 1-1/2" with an adjustable 36" buckled strap and a keyring snap on the outside, but is lightly padded inside to protect your sensitive electronics.
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37079 FANNY PACK | |
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37080 WAIST PACK |
Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.
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93011 SLIDE WHISTLE |
This is a plastic version of the gray spring toy that rhymes with stinky, but it's twice as tall, many times longer, and a gazillion times more colorful. Ours is 3" in dia x 5" tall and runs through the spectrum twice before it's done, which is pretty near forever. It stretched the length of our office, maybe 35 feet, and still had more to give, which makes us think that aside from its toy potential, it'd make a honey of a party decoration, like an indestructible crepe paper streamer. Get a few of them and your festive adornment needs are met forever.
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93017 RAINBOW SPRING |
Free the dinosaur skull buried in this 5" x 3-1/2" x 1-1/2" plaster block. Use the little sticks and brushes that are included to uncover the head of a T-Rex, spinosaurus, deinonychus or triceratops. It will be a surprise, just like in Montana. Mount your trophy on the pedestal that's also included, unlike in Montana. Ages 8 and up, from "dig it outâ„¢"
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93019 MINI DINO DIG |
The HypoPen is just the thing for all the medical professionals in your life. Push the plunger on the 5" long syringe and it sticks out its little ballpoint nose. Black ink. No colored fluids in the outer barrel.
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37399 HYPODERMIC PEN |
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