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Patches and Badges

Frankly, we don't need no patches or badges, stinkin' or otherwise. But you do. Because you have patch-mad progeny. Someday they'll get over it, but meanwhile, here are a whole big bunch of staggeringly inexpensive iron-on and self-adhesive embroidered fabric badges and patches. These small ones are for small-fry, but are an excellent quality and very workable for scrapbooking moms. All about 1" or 2", they feature tiny houses, cars, cows, clouds, stars, that sort of thing. Very, very assorted.

36983 SMALL PATCHES
$3.75 PKG(40)
 

Lost Your Panic Button?

Do we have to say it? Yes, we do. DON'T PANIC! We have more. Regulation ASCII-sized red panic buttons with white lettering, ready to self-stick to a spare spot on your keyboard or anywhere else where you regularly lose control.

92937 PANIC BUTTON
$1.95 EACH

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3-D Sudokube

Warning!  WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD-Small Parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.

Newspaper Sudoku not tough enough for you? You show-off. Try solving the Sudokube®, the evil spawn of a rogue Rubik's Cube® and a wayward Sudoku maiden. You twist away at the 2" x 2" black-and-white plastic cube, until each of the (6) sides displays digits 1 through 9. Extra credit if they're all in the right order with the numbers facing the same way. Only took us 12 minutes, but we used a hacksaw and some epoxy. Packaging says it's "For Ages Over 5." Right.

92950 SUDOKUBE
$2.75 EACH

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"Hit Me Again. I'm Still Stupid."

No reason to neglect your education while you’re playing blackjack. Just use our special heuristic playing cards and you’ll learn something, even if you do lose your shirt. The Elemental cards are a double deck, (104) cards plus (4) jokers. In addition to the standard playing card values, the decks cover the (up-to-date, 2006) periodic table of elements. Each card includes one element's atomic number, symbol, series, melting and boiling points, period/group, uses, est. atomic weight, standard state, and the element's name in English. The Bones cards are a deck of (52) plus (2) jokers covering the human skeletal system, with names and full-color illustrations, and yes, the four of clubs is connected to the five of clubs.

93185 ELEMENTAL CARDS
$14.95 EACH
93408 HUMAN BONE CARDS
$7.95 EACH

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Ouch!

Looks like a cheap kid-sized tennis racket, but brother, this ain't for the kids. It's actually a fine way for adults to work on their upper-body strength and kill bugs at the same time. 18" long, with a 6" wide paddle lined with metal grid. A coil in the handle sends high voltage through the paddle when a button is pushed, hit a bug with it and the bug will bug you no more. But despite the manufacturer's claims that it's safe for people, Scott reports that flesh-paddle contact delivers a nasty shock, nasty enough to say "Keep this away from kids!" We've seen these in other catalogs for about twice the price, so buy it from us. Just be careful with it. 2 AA batteries, not included.

27356 TENNIS RACKET STYLE INSECT TERMINATOR
$5.95 EACH
 

Manual Document Shredder

Tired of being a slave to the electric company, or just worried about shredding documents if the FBI cuts the power to your office? Try our foolproof, non-electronic document shredder, a very scissors-like hand-held innovation. OK, a pair of scissors with (5) sets of parallel blades. Destroys credit cards in a couple of passes, takes care of full sheets with a few more. Craft/classroom/party-planner bonus: makes confetti like a champ, and produces fringe just as easily.

93453 SHRESSORS
$6.95 EACH

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Accountant In A Jar

Or in the lid, actually. Jobar's Money Machine is a clever little bank that counts your change as you put it through the slot on top, and keeps a running total up to $999.99. (That's more than the jar will hold, of course, but you could always attach the lid to a 55-gallon drum.) Measures 6-3/4" tall x 3-1/2" dia in clear plastic, and you add a pair of "AA" batteries. Counts quarters, nickels, dimes, and pennies only.

93475 MONEY MACHINE
$8.95 EACH

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Fridge Frogs

Appliance amphibians. Green, blue, orange, plain and spotted. Printed and precut on 5-1/4" x 4-1/4" magnetic sheets, ready to punch out and plop onto the ice box. Each sheet has (6) frogs, so you get (30) colorful croakers in all, or enough to cover a whole kitchen's worth of appliances. Ribbit indeed.

38611 FROG MAGNETS
$2.50 PKG(5)

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Wander World

Warning!  WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD-Small Parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.

Finally, a planet that lives up to its name. The Greek root for planet means "wanderer," because, unlike the stars, the planets' paths were an unpredictable mystery to them. This hard-plastic mini-Earth is blue/green/white (White? Think polar ice caps.), 3-1/2" dia, and has an internal motor with an offset cam. Turn it on and watch it wander peculiar paths across the floor to amuse you or the cat. Wanders best on hardwood or tile. You'll need to add a single "AA" battery

38700 WANDER WORLD
$3.50 PKG(2)
 

Screeching Monkey Superhero

Warning!  WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD-Small Parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.

Look! Up in the sky! It's a screeching flying monkey to the rescue! And at a screechingly low price. Our hero is an 11" long stuffed monkey in superhero togs (a cape, and maybe a mask or hood, depending on his sartorial whim). Put two fingers in the little pockets on his paws, pull his bungee arms back, and let him go. He'll fly a good 25 feet or more, issuing hideous monkey screeches all the while, faster than a flying nun and able to brighten up a day in the office in a single bound.

93041P3 3-PACK SAVINGS
$15.95 PKG(3)
93041P1 SCREAMING MONKEY
$5.95 EACH
 

Excellent Artists' Brushes

A beautiful set of (18) natural-bristle artists brushes with 12" long wood handles. Our each is (9) flat and (9) round brushes, in sizes from #1 to #8, plus #10. They come in a roll-up, natural canvas case with a self-tie. We'd point out what a ridiculously low price this is, and what excellent quality, but then the guys in our purchasing department would get swollen heads and start demanding more than minimum wage. Shhhh.

38977 ARTIST BRUSH SET
$7.95 EACH

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