Beats us why this little Hobby Hammer, as it calls itself, has a camo pattern. Could be for woodland crafters, could be a really good reason for surplus-ness. Either way, it's a nice little 7-1/2” long claw hammer with a magnetic pickup, straight-blade screwdriver and Phillips screwdrivers all collapsed inside the handle. Go tack sequins on a hollow tree.

OK, chicken plucking and how to build an igloo, but you could combine them if you needed to. How To is a book of wilderness skills with instructions on over (75) things you might need to know someday, including the two above, plus opening coconuts with a rock, sheep-shearing, crossing deserts (with the associated treating a snakebite), surviving bear attacks, starting fires in the rain, cleaning fish, tanning hides, and shoeing horses. Takes a nice, fun look at desperation in the woods. We've already used a bunch in the office.

Just like all the fashionable coroners wear, this clear plastic face shield is approx 10-3/4” tall x 6” deep, and wraps around your face and the front half of your head. The shield features thumbscrews to adjust the forehead strap and angle of the face guard for superior comfort. Not impact or heat resistant, so pay heed to the “antispray mask” on the tape at the top, and don’t use it like safety glasses or a bump cap.

Like the famous Scotty’s roll, but reusable. Everybody poops, but not everybody has this 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of a hoard of toilet paper rolls that looks like a scene from your grandmother’s closet. (Yes, the collective noun—like a gam of whales and a murder of crows—is a hoard of toilet paper.) Finished size is 27” x 19”. It’s the perfect gift for these locked-in times, or for any grandmother worth her weight in coupons.

Not really just for voodoo. They’re from Voodoo Tactical™ in 100% nylon designed for the rigorous demands of, well, tactical stuff. Stretch material will fit most hands from Medium to Large. Durable and reliable, they’re black with pink skeleton bones on top, along with a logo. Wrists close with hook-and-loop straps.

Plus green peppers, at no extra charge. Fooey on inflatable unicorns--grown-ups will relax on this giant slice-of-pizza pool float. Measures 43" wide at the crust x 72" long. The crust, like all pizza crusts, is thicker so you can rest your weary head. An extra-large inflater valve makes blowing up your slice easier than ever. For ages 8+.

This forest-camo sleeping bag is made for kids or adults as skinny as Pat, the Surplus King, who's six feet x 175 pounds and fits like a camper in this bag. Measures 70” x 27” closed (the bag, not Pat) and unzips to 70” x 54” in quick-drying polyester. Rolls up to an eminently tote-able 7” dia x 14” long in its own camo drawstring bag, and weighs just 2 lbs. Keeps toes toasty down to 40 degrees.

From the mid-20th-century German military, this is a fully functional field phone. Weighs in at 8.2 lbs, and comes self-contained in a 10-1/4" x 6-3/4" x 4-1/4" dark brown Bakelite case with a handset on a 4-foot cord, a 52” 2-pin jumper, 25” TT plug cord, ringer crank and a battery holder for the pair of D-cells you’ll need to add. Side has slots for the carrying cord that we don’t have, and the inside lid has a full schematic. Should work with standard stereo speaker wire, and we’d get a pair of these phones if we were you. Small quantity available. These are surplus and have wear and tear on them. We will pick the nicest of the lot. 

Actually 1,042 days, and that’s if it’s on 24/7. This dimmable, wide-angle LED floodlight runs for 20% of the energy of a halogen and shines at 865 lumens. Draws just 15W, and the manufacturer cites energy cost at $1.80 a year. Warm white 3000K light. Stock up and you’ll never be stuck in the dark.

Can your pooch jump through hoops? No matter--you can pass the Woof Washer 360® hoop over your dog, and Fido will come out clean as a whippet on the other side. Adjustable for dogs of various sizes, it connects to any garden hose and accepts any dog shampoo. The (30) jets spray soapy water and a rinse on all your puppy's parts, dorsal, ventral and nether. Folds for easy storage. For extra fun, try it on your cat.

Whether you're a weatherman or not, it pays to know which way the wind blows. And you need neither a weatherman nor a weatherwoman for that. This 4-in-1 backyard weather station beats sticking a wet finger in the air. In black steel and plastic, it measures 57” tall, with a directional wind vane, a 4” (100mm) rain gauge and a thermometer that displays Fahrenheit and Celsius temperatures. The bottom's a stake, so just stick it in the ground and you're good to go. It’s as handsome as it is useful.

It's easier if you start off with genuine name-brand Sharpie® brand Sharpies like these. This set of (5) permanent markers includes (1) each in black, red, blue and green with fine points, plus an alarming neon yellow highlighter with a wedge tip. Pocket clips galore. And the packaging is in Spanish, so you’ll learn words like permanente and colores, but they write just fine in English.

You’re not alone. Lots of people pretend they’re rock stars in the bathroom, and you can enhance the pretense with this 9” long, red-handled hair brush with a built-in electronic microphone (“…we’ll be back to pick you up later!”),1/2W amp and 1” speaker in the handle. Will also play sounds from a media player or phone via standard 1/8” input jack on a 4-foot jumper cord. Has power, dual-level volume and mic kill buttons. Runs on (3) “AAA” batteries that you add. Brush is removable for cleaning.

Nobody's going to steal your lunch if you keep it in one of these 15” x 13” cotton totes with a giant and very realistic pouting pug on both sides, so real you'll expect it to drool. Has zipper closures, (2) inner pockets for keys and phone, and a second full-length zipper compartment inside. Already gift-wrapped for your convenience. Slide-on tag lists a $20 retail price, and you're welcome.

This palm-sized massager is battery-free and cord-free, meaning it’s fully manual, just like you. The flexible, soft-rubber grip fits your hand and measures 6” x 3” with (7) large stainless steel ball bearings as points of contact, because smooth is good in the massage game. Manufacturer says it reduces tension and post-workout soreness, gets blood flowing and stretches tissues, all of which are good things. Dogs like it, too.

Sometimes fun is like anything else—if want it done right, you have to do it yourself. The Gravity Sand kit is a bag of special sand and a 3-piece mold to make 1-1/2” x 1/2” lego-ish bricks. We’ll pick gold, blue, green or red sand for you—to save you time. Each bag will make approx (8) bricks, so you best order a few. Ages 6+.

So don’t push them, OK? In red and blue, they look just like traditional push-pins, but with magnet bottoms so you can pin notes and photos to the fridge. Confuse your friends and family with this mind-bending—yet practical—optical illusion! (Of course if you used real push-pins on a fridge, all the cold would leak out and your milk would spoil.) Pins measure 1” dia x ½” long, and our each is a package of (8).

If you want to make an omelette, you have to break some eggs. But now you can automate the tedious process. Just stick the egg between the little rings, squeeze the handle, and the Clever Cracker breaks it and drops it into the detachable egg separator. But wait—that’s not all! The package also includes the battery-operated Clever Scrambler. Put the egg in the little bowl on the Scrambler, push it down so the tiny scrambling wand is inside the egg, push the button, and the egg is scrambled from the inside, without your ever having to witness the ignominious deed. You add is a pair of “AA” batteries.

Grip® brand water-resistant utility boxes are inspired by military ammo cans, but in a long-lasting polymer instead of steel, and in mini sizes. These are 8-1/2” long x 4-1/2” wide x 6-1/2” tall, hinged on a short side. They have a folding handle on top, a secure locking latch, and an O-ring gasket to make them water-resistant. Great for cell phones and other small electronics, wallets, cash, lunch, our Virgil Trucks rookie card—stuff like that.

Know why? Because it’s a Regal Blue Tang, which, for the ichthyologically impaired among you, is a fish. This one’s fuzzy, though. Measures 9” long x 6” tall at the gills, in blue, black and yellow plush. Has some plastic pellets in his belly, too, so he’ll sit up straight. Buy a bunch, make a mobile to hang above your aquarium and entertain your real guppies.

Put a little major-league glam in your printer with our heavy, sparkly, silvery, glittery paper that displays rainbow hues when moved. No loose glitter to gum up your printer, of course. The sheet measures 8-1/2" x 11" x .007" thick and works in both ink-jet and laser printers. Perfect for attention-grabbing signs, photo mats, those extra-fab memos, or wrapping up Ziggy Stardust CDs.

The little tyke appeared in 1952, a worried two-year-old looking for a little comfort in a cold world. With Lucy as a big sister, it's hard to blame him. The math never lies--Linus turned 70 this year, and he had to trade in his blue security blanket for a blue and white Social Security Card Blanket. Looks just like the card in your wallet (which you shouldn't carry in your wallet), and measures 68" x 34" in soft, comforting poly fleece. Even has your name on it: John Q. Public. All you add is a thumb.

Those new-fangled virtual reality games make you wish for a simpler virtual world? If you have, say, medium soldering skills, your sensory overload is over. Now you can make your own Pong-style, TV tennis game and while away days at a time just like your ancestors did. (It’s mysteriously compelling--go find an ancestor and ask.) Will work through any TV with NTSC video (via RCA jack inputs). For one or two players and has (4) levels of difficulty. No case, but there are standoffs. You add a pair of “AA” batteries.

Don’t miss your chance to upgrade your workbench with this Velleman DC lab power supply with dual LCD displays. Can be used as both a constant voltage and constant current source with rated outputs of 0-30VDC at up to 3A max, and is overload protected. Precisely control your tests with coarse and fine-tune controls and easy-to-read digital displays. 

• LCD display for voltage and current protection mode: current-limiting
• colour: white-grey insulated terminals output connectors: IEC1010 
• protected against overload 
• input voltage: 110 VAC 60 Hz 1.3 A max. pf: 0.77 
• output: 0-30 VDC adjustable max. output current: 0-3 A 
• adjustable max. ripple voltage: 1 mV 
• dimensions: 5.31 x 6.3 x 11.02 inch weight: 9.48 lbs fuse: T2

Our inline filter helps rid your AC line of EMI and spikes. Rated for up to 16A at 250VAC. Has quick-disconnect terminals for the line and lead sides. Schematic is on the 1-1/2" x 1-3/8" x 1-5/8" housing.

It's all make-believe, but it's also the best-selling Japanese manga series of all time. (Just ask your favorite millennial—they’d be thrilled to explain it to you.) This collectible analog wristwatch features the Sailor Scouts on the colorful stained-glass watch dial, and a Moon Stick second hand. Hours are denoted by colored rhinestones on the case, and they fashionably match each member of the quintet. Leather band measures about 8-3/4”, so it should fit the wrist of most guardians of love and justice. Watch face is 1.1”, and the whole shebang is powered by an AG4 battery. Licensed by Toei Animations.

Nope--we thought it was a theodolite-- a surveying instrument for measuring angles in horizontal and vertical planes, but it seems we missed the mark. With the help of a knowledgeable Surpie, we’re reasonably sure this olive drab apparatus is an artillery sight for a Chinese howitzer. (See, even we don’t know everything.) Measures approx 7-1/2" x 5" x 4" with a plethora of moving parts: optical head that pivots up and down; focal knob calibrated from 0 to -90 and +10 to + 80; horizontal and vertical adjustments with a locking lever; and a 1-5/8" dia ball with a 1/2" hole in the bottom for a mount. Weighs in at over 5 lbs. The paint is chipping, but you would too at this age.

A really cool mini drill set for your mini projects! The 7-1/4" long aluminum push drill for delicate work comes with (1) 1/16" and (1) 1/32" collet, and (20) bits that fit them. The bits are #61 through #80, some so needle-thin they could add tear ducts to a fashion doll. They come in a mini case marked with the number and size of each bit in mils.

We all need tape, all kinds of tape. The smart folks (tapeworms) stock up and have it ready when things go south, as they will. Our each is a quintet of tapes, including: (1) 55-yard roll of 2" wide clear carton-sealing tape; (1) 82-foot roll of 1" wide beige double-sided tape; (1) 60-yard roll of 1-3/8" wide painters' masking tape; (1) 60-yard roll of 2" wide standard duct tape, the one you can't live without; and (1) 50-yard long roll of 2" wide aluminum tape, conductive on the shiny side and great for cold weather and metal repairs. Bonus use: fisherpersons use aluminum tape to wrap wooden lures for added fish-luring. Bonus tapeworm joke: they're the perfect pets--no leash, no license, go where you go and eat what you eat.

Newly manufactured P-38 Can Opener from the same folks who supply them to Uncle. It folds! into 1-1/2" x 5/8" flat piece which is easily carried and lost. Reportedly works much better than the Asian knockoffs for those who really want to gain entry to the Spam!

Were you the one who needed an industrial relay? Oh, great, because here’s one from Midtex, and it’s rated for 30A and 1HP at 120VAC; 30A and 1.5HP at 240VAC; and 15A at 600VAC. Has SPST normally-closed load contacts, and coil will draw 25mA at 12VDC. Measures 2" x 1-3/4" x 2-3/8", including a plastic bracket on the face. Has 1/4" quick-disconnect terminals on the bottom.

This 9-piece hex key set (“Allen wrenches” to their friends) is made of chrome vanadium steel with ball point ends on the non-business side. You know how you always need an Allen wrench at some point? And you have most of the sizes but not the one you actually need? Those days are over with this set. Sizes include: 10, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2.5, 2, and 1.5mm. Lengths range from 1-3/4” to 4-1/2”, and they come in a nice folding holder for those times that you don’t need them.

Snap Circuits® kits are perennial faves here at the home office, and this 47-piece kit is an electronic honey. The most fun you can have without a soldering gun, and it’ll teach you about electricity and magnetism. You’ll learn how the electricity in your house works, and specifically how light switches control electricity, among many other things. Leads to more than (90) projects, and includes a 68-page profusely illustrated manual and a large base grid. The manufacturer, Elenco®, says it’s made for ages 8 to 108, but we’ve never tested it on anyone over 94, so we can’t verify that. You add a trio of “AA” batteries, which, conveniently, we can include in your order.

The manufacturer calls this a SWAT Survival Kit and it’s a wonder of emergency compactness at 4” x 6” x 2-1/2”. Tucked inside the heavy-duty black plastic case is a bright LED flashlight, multifunction leatherguyish tool, survival compass, whistle, emergency foil blanket, credit-card size multitool with (10) functions, flint fire starter and steel wire saw. Flashlight is powered by (3) "AAA" batteries (not included).

That flat-screen TV you paid a fortune for has been sitting on a coffee table long enough. Time to wall-mount it like all the television sets on television shows. You pick: the full-motion mount fits standard LED wall mounts, holds sets from 23” to 50" and up to 44 lbs, can pull away from the wall up to 13-1/2”, tilts 5-15 degrees, and swivels 90 degrees right or left; the flat-to-the-wall mount holds 32” to 50” sets up to 132 lbs, and will sit a smidgen over 1/2” from the wall.

This braided polypropylene rope is 3/8” dia (rope size #12) and rated for a 100-lb working load. You get (50) feet of this easy-to-knot utility rope in assorted colors.

We think of these as industrial worry beads, but they're really 5/16" dia (8mm) steel ball bearings, ready to be put to whatever ball-bearing uses you might have. Our each is a pack of (50), which should cover a lot of worries, and whatever else you can come up with.

If you love the electric and primary-colored hair you’ve been seeing lately but don’t want your kids to go all-in with dye jobs of their own, we’ve got them covered. At least, we’ve got their heads covered. Let them be edgy only when they want to with our wacky 11” nylon mohawk wigs, each connected to an elastic skullcap with (6) white LEDs that strobe, flash or pulse, powered by (3) included AG-13 batteries. You pick: the blue, yellow, green and aqua one; the other one in green, aqua, magenta and purple; or the black, green and orange one. In kid sizes, but feel free to get one for yourself if you think you can squeeze into it. Ages 3+.

Or giraffe, zebra, tiger or leopard. We’ll send you (3) of our animal-skin print aluminum carabiners, 3-1/8” long x 1-3/4” with a 5/8” mouth, in whatever critter-prints run to the door when we open the cage. Not for climbing. (Think: keys.)

Punch 1/8" to 1/2" holes in leather, balsa wood, etc., with this set of (9) steel punches. The punches, which come in a fitted black-plastic carrying case, are 1/2", 7/16", 25/64", 3/8", 5/16", 1/4", 3/16", 5/32" and 1/8". They are 3-1/4" to 3-3/4" long, with knurled grips, imprinted sizes, and side slots to allow the slugs to fall out.