Or are you just under heavy pressure to start writing right now! We know, we know. That’s why our copywriters always buy these pre-sharpened #2 pencils, to get those terrible jokes down on paper ASAP. And yes, they have erasers because sometimes we’re not funny, and we all make mistakes. In packs of (12) at 7-3/8” long.

Hear about the antenna wedding? The ceremony was nothing special, but the reception was excellent. Same goes for this amplified HDTV digital antenna from TriQuest. It doesn’t stand on ceremony--just offers excellent reception by marrying several types of antennae. Use it with satellite or cable for the best reception of local channels. Has a 6-1/2" loop for UHF frequencies, a pair of 32" 5-draw dipoles for VHF, a 50" coax cable with a gold plated "F" connector, and an inline 25dB amplifier powered by an included 12VDC 100mA adapter. Base has a 8-3/4" x 4" footprint. Works on all TVs.

The Book of Terrifyingly Awesome Technology is crying out for a spot on your kid’s bookshelf. It’s a hardbound book with (227) pages of info-taining stories and (27) experiments that blur the lines between science fiction and modern technology, but in a good way. Experiments will require the always-popular “common household items” and don't blame us if you wake up to a space elevator in your backyard.

Our tabletop telescope from Celestron is an excellent choice for traveling or as a first telescope, which explains its “FirstScope” name. It’s a 76mm reflecting telescope with 20mm (15X) and 4mm (75X) 1.25” eyepieces and mounts for a finderscope. The mount/stand has a lazy-susan style swivel and a variable tension knob. The Accessory Kit includes 12.5mm (24X) and 6mm (50X) 1.25" eyepieces, a moon filter, a 5X24 finderscope, planetarium software ("THE SKYX") for Windows 7, XP, Vista, Mac 10.4.8 or later, a nylon carrying case for accessories.

No, don’t, but if you do, this one’s likely to survive because it’s rubber-coated from stem to stern to lens caps. From Lenenuk™, it’s an 8X42 monocular with BaK4 (BaritleichKron--German for "Barium Crown”) multicoated glass eyepiece and objective lenses, and a twisting eye cup. Comes with a wrist strap, chamois and velveteen pouch. Has a 6.3 degree field of view and 8X magnification with a minimum focal length of 3 meters. Measures 6-1/4" x 2-1/8" and has a standard mount on the bottom, plus a lifetime mfr’s warranty.

For people without chimneys, Santa uses a rope, like an airborne ranger with presents. He’s about a foot tall and goes up and down on an approx 2-foot rope pulled by a string from a motorized box in a gold Santa bag that takes (3) “AA” batteries. (not included) Surplusiness factor: Santa’s glittery bag has shed some slightly gooey glitter, some of which is on Santa, but he cleans up with a little soap and water, ready to ascend to your mantel.

Into soldering? Want to get into it? Either way, this Velleman® 60W electronic temperature-control soldering station is for you. Has a ceramic heating-element with a range of 392 to 896 degrees Fahrenheit, a sensor and heater-fail notification and an LED display with a digital temperature scale (Celsius or Fahrenheit). Low-voltage iron draws 24VAC. Measures 8" x 5.25" x 3.75" and has a password lock. UL.

Make your own calorimeter with these parts: a 100ml Borosilicate Erlenmeyer flask; a 6-1/4” tall x 4” dia aluminum chimney with a port cut out of it; a 4-1/2” square aluminum plate with a hole to hold the flask; a plastic nut to hold the flask; and a cork and pin to hold the foodstuff you'll be igniting. You supply an alcohol thermometer.

Don’t miss your chance to upgrade your workbench with this Velleman DC lab power supply with dual LCD displays. Can be used as both a constant voltage and constant current source with rated outputs of 0-30VDC at up to 3A max, and is overload protected. Precisely control your tests with coarse and fine-tune controls and easy-to-read digital displays. 

• LCD display for voltage and current protection mode: current-limiting
• colour: white-grey insulated terminals output connectors: IEC1010 
• protected against overload 
• input voltage: 110 VAC 60 Hz 1.3 A max. pf: 0.77 
• output: 0-30 VDC adjustable max. output current: 0-3 A 
• adjustable max. ripple voltage: 1 mV 
• dimensions: 5.31 x 6.3 x 11.02 inch weight: 9.48 lbs fuse: T2

Could be. This white nylon hammock in 1-3/8” mesh unfurls to approx 5 x 6 feet, attached to ropes that let you hang it between trees or hooks or whatever, up to (20) feet apart. Rolls up to a tidy, camping-friendly 3” x 5” for storage, and the manufacturer says it will take a load of 440 lbs, so an adventurous couple could cohabit under the stars.

Our sturdy 24VDC 6A linear actuator motor with intermittent duty extends from 56-7/8" to 85-5/8" and has a 337-lb push. The extending shaft is 1-1/4" diameter and the U-joint at the end has a 7/16" ID hole for attaching. Use it to make something go up and down, or in an out. Like an awning, the door on your chicken coop, your holiday yard displays or something in your basement bar, man cave or she shed.

New category of figurines: zombie gnome. It was bound to happen, with all those dating apps out there. Ours is made of nicely detailed polyresin, approx 7-1/2” tall, even with its neck bent to the side, on a 4-1/4” wide base painted to look like blood-stained grass. Sickly green skin, a classic red gnome hat and a bit of exposed brain contribute to its authenticity. The felt-coated bottom lets you stand it on your finest furniture, but you can also park it in your garden, or on your front stoop.

This excellent, paper, full-color U.S. political wall map is 40" x 28" and includes Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, southern Canada and part of northern Mexico. Also includes major bodies of water, state names, capitals, major cities and towns, latitude and longitude, time zones, national parks and monuments. Large and legible lettering. Great for schools, but why not have one at home or in the office, too?

Like this clear acrylic clipboard with a low-profile clip. Measures 1/8” thick x a standard 12-1/2" x 9" but with a 4-1/2" clip that stands only 3/8” above the board, so it will slip into a folder or sleeve easily. Has a 10" x 1/16" ruler on one edge and a 25cm x 1mm ruler on the other. Everybody needs a good clipboard.

It's all make-believe, but it's also the best-selling Japanese manga series of all time. (Just ask your favorite millennial—they’d be thrilled to explain it to you.) This collectible analog wristwatch features the Sailor Scouts on the colorful stained-glass watch dial, and a Moon Stick second hand. Hours are denoted by colored rhinestones on the case, and they fashionably match each member of the quintet. Leather band measures about 8-3/4”, so it should fit the wrist of most guardians of love and justice. Watch face is 1.1”, and the whole shebang is powered by an AG4 battery. Licensed by Toei Animations.

OK, pay attention. This is a plug-in nightlight with red, green and blue LEDs that shift through a 2” dia prism while a small speaker plays lullabies via a recordable micro SD card. Some folks here say it put them into an ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) state. See for yourself. The light is gentle and random, not music driven. You can record your own lullabies, or bedtime stories, or Hall & Oates if they help you sleep. The micro SD card comes in an SD adapter and will fit your devices. Has volume and playback controls and a light sensitive "eye" for auto on/off when it gets dark or light. Measures 3-7/8" x 2-5/8" x 2". Now go to sleep.

Yeah, that’s our sun. Don’t you want to know more about its mighty power? This environmentally friendly Solar Educational Kit will show you and your kids how to harness that power in a series of DIY experiments. You’ll make an electrical circuit and a solar circuit, learn how to increase voltage and current, and use solar power to run a radio, calculator, lamp, battery charger and other things. Includes a musical unit and a plastic lamp.

You knead this. Actually it kneads you. The Mynt Cordless Shiatsu Massager is heated for extra self-indulgence. Set the controls, drape it over your neck and shoulders and pull/relax it to control the depth of the massage and meet the demands of your unmet kneads. (OK, we’ll stop that.) Has (8) modes with adjustable heat, rotation and speed and runs for approx 1-1/2 hours on a single charge, by which time you’ll be asleep anyway. Some light home-office experimenting confirms that it works well on arms, legs and especially lower backs, but the boss wouldn’t let us try it on feet. Pre-Priced $79.99.

Now through Sunday 12-15 get a free extending handheld rolling massager with each order. Item wll be added to your shipment not in your shopping cart.

Back when you could dial M for murder, telephones looked like this one, and people set the alarm by calling the front desk and asking for a wake-up call. You can relive those days, sans the front desk, with this classic telephone-ish alarm clock. The dial is an LED-illuminated quartz clock and the handset is a goose-neck reading lamp with a dozen LEDs and (3) brightness levels. There’s a snooze button and a power button for the clock light in the cradle. The verisimilitudessness is enhanced by the alarm having the same ring as an old rotary phone. Measures 9" x 5" x 4-3/4" and you add (4) C-cell batteries.

Got worries at home at work or while driving? Diffuse them with this very nice USB-powered, portable Geek Tek® essential oils diffuser/humidifier, which holds a little under 8 oz of water, can glow in (7) different LED colors (shifting or steady) and offers (2) mist modes (steady and intermittent). Put a little fragrance or essential oil into it, for that special spa atmosphere you love so much. Don’t say you don’t. Not interested in fancy scents? Just use it as a personal/desk/car humidifier and breath easy. Measures 5-1/2" tall x almost 2-3/4" dia w/a 3-foot cord. Comes with a filter stick, plus a spare. Should draw about 400mA with the LEDs on, and will mist a little over an oz per hour. Spillproof, too!

From iZoom®, our light source of choice, comes this tiny flood that lights way above its weight. Hard to believe (but true) that such a small package is rated for a staggering 500 lumens with (21) white LEDs that have a 30,000-hour life. It’s also indoor/outdoor weatherproof! Measures just 5” x 3-1/8” x approx 1-1/4” with a booted power switch and gasketed battery compartment for the (3) included “AA”s. Includes an adjustable C-bracket for hanging, standing or mounting to the included 4” x 5” base. Should run for a steady 2-1/2 hours on fresh batteries.

Then better check your bore. This tiny bore light, made for looking into barrels or other tight spots, measures 3-1/4" long x approx 5/8” dia with a single white LED. Includes a slide on right-angle fiber-optic head and a pocket clip. Take off the head and it’s a nice mini flashlight. You add (1) “AAA” battery.

That’s where these military overseas caps started out, on Deutsch köpfe. Slightly shorter than the U.S. garrison cap, and with a jaunty curve, front to back, they’re in dark blue-gray with orange piping and a German army insignia on the front. We’ll pick a pair in (2) different sizes 58-63, which is approx 7-1/4 to 7-7/8 on American heads, but the envelope design gives them some size leeway.

It’s a ninefer. This 6” long x 1/2” hex ball-point pen has a rubber stylus at the other end, which unscrews to reveal a tiny driver with both small Phillips and regular heads, while the shaft has a little bubble level and (4) rulers: 0-4” x 1/16”; 0-10cm x 1mm; and both 1/200mm and 1/300mm rulers. The ninth part is our name on the side, so you remember where the coolest stuff comes from. Plus it’s in the ruler shade of yellow, with a pocket clip. (Sorry, no laser.) Need more ink? Our refill pack is a set of (2) black and (2) blue cartridges. Just pull out the silver knurled tip of the pen to screw in a new ink cartridge and your Great American Novel will be finished in no time.

It’s called Thinking Putty® because while you do whatever you want with it, your brain relaxes and opens up to all kinds of creative thinking. Need it? Yes. And you can also knead it. Or bounce it, bend it, tear it, stretch it, snap it, pop it. Pick from the 3.2 oz of dark green magnetic Strange Attractor putty with iron filings infused in it, plus a 1/2” cubed rare earth magnet; the shimmering Mystifying Mermaid that changes colors from the heat of your hands; the sparkly and bounceable Dino Poop: the glow-in-the-dark, neon confetti and golden glitter filled Enchanting Unicorn; the heat morphing orange-to-pink Flamingo Feathers; or the Super Scarab, 3.2 oz. of color-shifting blue/purple/copper/red putty reminesent of Egyptian scarabs. Comes in a 4” dia x 1-3/8” tin.

You knead this. Actually it kneads you. The Mynt Cordless Shiatsu Massager is heated for extra self-indulgence. Set the controls, drape it over your neck and shoulders and pull/relax it to control the depth of the massage and meet the demands of your unmet kneads. (OK, we’ll stop that.) Has (8) modes with adjustable heat, rotation and speed and runs for approx 1-1/2 hours on a single charge, by which time you’ll be asleep anyway. Some light home-office experimenting confirms that it works well on arms, legs and especially lower backs, but the boss wouldn’t let us try it on feet. Pre-Priced $79.99.

Now through Sunday 12-15 get a free extending handheld rolling massager with each order. Item wll be added to your shipment not in your shopping cart.

This nicely made 13-piece file set has a dozen diamond-encrusted files at 2, 4 and 6mm wide x 1-3/16” long with 120, 180, 300, and 400 grit surfaces. Includes a colleted 4-3/4” long aluminum handle, Go rub something the right way.

Rodney Dangerfield got no respect himself, but as Al Czervik in your favorite golf movie he got tons of respect--especially when he cranked up the tunes on the fairway. Now you can, too, with our Jam Turf wireless Bluetooth® golf speaker. Shaped sort of like a water bottle, at approx 6-1/2” tall x 2-1/2” dia, it fits in a cup holder. Has an 8-hour battery, a USB charging port, a carabiner that’s also a bottle opener, (2) tees and a strap to hold more, a ball marker and a speaker phone. Also has voice prompts. Plus it’s rain proof, which Carl Spackler and The Bishop would appreciate. Don’t worry, though, we don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite a while. $79 MSRP (But who pays retail?)

3-1/2 digit LCD electrical multimeter with a max reading of 1999. Measures (5) ranges of DC, (2) ranges of AC voltage both to 500 V, (5) ranges of resistance to 200K ohms, DC current to 10 Amp., diode test, transistor and battery test. A pocket sized 2-7/8" x 5-3/4" x 1-1/2", it comes complete with test leads and 9 volt battery. The best value for this size we have seen.

Don’t you like having a thousand of something? Yeah, same here. We recommend this bag of 1,000 (we did the math, that's only 2.4 cents per marble) glass cat’s eye marbles in a rainbow of colors. Called Peewees in the marble world, they’re 12mm dia, which is 0.47”, which is like a really big pea, or a really small garbanzo bean. Play mini-marbles, or make clay cats and use the marbles for eyes, or just keep them in a big bowl for their prettiness factor.

Put a little major-league glam in your printer with our heavy, sparkly, silvery, glittery paper that displays rainbow hues when moved. No loose glitter to gum up your printer, of course. The sheet measures 8-1/2" x 11" x .007" thick and works in both ink-jet and laser printers. Perfect for attention-grabbing signs, photo mats, those extra-fab memos, or wrapping up Ziggy Stardust CDs.

And it’s cute. Just 4-3/8" long with a pocket clip, it looks like a pen but it has (8) driver bits stored in the barrel. The 5/32” hex bits include slotted 1.5mm, 2mm, 3mm, 3.5mm, and  Phillips #00, #0, #1, and  #2 . We’ll pick one in red, black or blue, because who cares?

A classic returns! Our extra-large punching-nun puppet features a pair of thumb controls that activate very impressive jabs from both sides. A Nun’s Story meets Raging Bull. She’s wearing pretty much the same habit that Audrey Hepburn sported in the aforementioned movie. Ladies and gentlemen...wearing black and white, standing 12” tall with an 8-1/2” reach, weighing in at 1/2-lb… the Super-Flyweight Ecclesiastical Champion of the World, from Niles, Illinois...Sister Mary Punchyerlightsout….

From Koge Micro Pump Co. (company motto: Let’s PUMP the World!), this nice little diaphragm air pump draws approx 400mA at 12VDC and will put out 3 liters a minute with a minimum pressure of 400mm/Hg. Measures 2-3/4” long x 1-1/4” square with 1/4” long x 5/32” dia inlet, and outlet barbs. Part #KPM32E.

It’s faux hurricane season here in Chicago, and time to break out our faux hurricane lantern. Regardless of the season, though, it’s great as an accent light in any room, back yard or camper. Stands approx 10” tall x 5” wide, in steel with an antiquey copper finish. Has a carrying/hanging handle, and a push-button turns on both a 25-lumen flickering LED flame and an 80-lumen bright-white LED. Comes with (4) “AAA” batteries.

Does anyone need to be told what a Slinky(tm) toy is?? Okay, it is a very slack spring, 2-7/8" dia x 2-1/2" long, compressed. It will stretch out to about 5 or 6 feet long without deforming. That's the boring part. The interesting part is that it "follows" itself. Slosh it from hand to hand. Put in on the top step of stairs, flip the end down a step, and watch it walk down stairs, or down an incline. Believe us, no childhood (or adulthood) is complete without an original steel Slinky(tm). It was hard for us to find it, but we are glad we did. You should be too.

Donut magnet you can take to town!! 74mm dia x 14mm thick with a 30mm hole. Very strong and well pedigreed - in fact, its kin are activating pacemakers. They are of a high permeability ferrite material with a lovely light blue or white epoxy coating. Okay, we have them because there is the odd bubble, slight scratches or the word MAGNET painted in the coating which ruled them out of the medical ball, but they're fine company nonetheless. Good display bases, paper clip traps, and super for classroom demos.

You've come to the right place. Our illuminated, magnifying helping hand even has a stand to hold a soldering iron. On a 2-1/4" x 2-1/2" cast iron base with a small-parts well, it has a sliding arm on a ball-joint with (2) alligator clips that move on (2) axes. On a second rotating ball-joint arm is a generous 3-1/4" dia 2X magnifier with a 6X inset lens and a pair of white LEDS. More like (3) helping hands than (1).

Simple, yet clever 1" dia. by 3" long plastic device to demonstrate the vortex effect of a tornado. Partially fill with water one of the two half-gallon size plastic soda bottles which you supply. Screw the bottles into opposite ends of the tube which we supply. Tip so the full bottle is on top and give it a circular starting whirl. Presto! You have a vortex. Call it a tornado if you're a meteorologist, a Charybdis if you're a classicist, or a whirlpool if you're into oceanography. Lots of fun and a fine opportunity to attempt to explain the effects of the earth's rotation on water draining out of a bathtub. The phenomena are related we're told, but good luck!!

If a snow globe and a powered speaker had a baby it would be this tornado light show that whirls to the music, with Bluetooth technology. Makes us proud to know there are electronics engineers out there designing this sort of thing. This 8W unit has a rechargeable battery and USB charge cord, a 1-5/8" dia 70-18KHz speaker and an impeller. Inside the 3-1/2” dia globe is, yes, snow and red, green and blue LEDs that react to sound in a whirlwind effect. Has a micro SD card, a standard 1/8” jack, and 32-foot Bluetooth 2.0 capability. The whole shebang stands 7-1/4" tall on an approx 3-1/2" square base.