ADULT & KID TOYS

More fun than a canned ham, this flip-top storage tin has a train set inside, with a plastic steam engine, tender, boxcar and caboose, as well as a 12-piece track that forms a 10" x 22" oval. Tin and train car colors may vary. You add a "AA" battery and you're the engineer. 

Nobody escapes the mindfulness movement, not even cryptozoological Sasquatches seeking Satori. From deep in the northwest woods come these vinyl Bigfoots, sitting cross-legged and contemplating hirsute-being and nothingness. Most will be in Bigfoot Brown, with the occasional Abominable White and Yeti Beige appearing, sorry no special requests. You'll get (2) tranquil sasquatch at 2” tall, which technically makes them little Bigfoots.

And we say that with a history of silly that’s virtually unmatched. You slip on this pair of lens-less glasses with the tiny bucket and ball on a string attached, and try, while looking like a demented chipmunk, to swing the little ball on its cord and drop it into the cup. With the classic styled black glasses, blue basket and orange ball, you will be filmed on a smart phone, it will be put on social media, and you will be famous for it for the rest of your life. Best to order a couple so you’re not alone.

A bunch of seagulls is a flock, but a bunch of crows is a murder. Hey, we don’t come up with this stuff—blame the ornithologists. If you’re into black crows, and want a murder of them, these rubbery plastic figurines are nicely detailed, and approx 2” x 1” each, in different poses. You’ll get (4) in a handsome 3-1/2” x 2-1/2” x 1-1/2” box with a nest in it. Black crows only—no flocks of seagulls, eagles or yardbirds.

Pop one of these roughly 1-1/4" dia stones into the toe of a sock, smash it with a hammer, and be the first person ever to see your real-as-Nature-makes-it geode!! Ninety percent of them have the familiar beautiful white crystals inside. Formed by volcanic action, they are found all over the world, but ours are from Mexico. There is no way to tell from the outside if they have crystal centers, but we will send you two just to raise your odds, and we haven't had a dud yet in our stores!! Much much more fun and satisfaction than buying one already cracked.

Emergency underpants in a can. Says it all, doesn't it? Quite stretchable in a Tyvekish white fabric, "one pair fits most adults." They're hip-hugger, semi-bikini, translucent type drawers, so despite the smiling man wearing them and a red bow-tie on the can, some (insecure) guys might find these just a touch jeune fille-ish. "Safe, Sanitary, Secure." Says so right on the 3" x 1-1/2" x 2/3" flip-top metal can. Better buy (3) in case of a long weekend.

Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

Spin the ribbed 7" handle of this hand-powered prop between your palms, and watch it take off. (If it lands instead of flying off into the wild blue yonder, reverse the spin!) Neon handle, bright, metallic-flaked 8" propeller, and a lift so high we imprinted it with our logo - the airborne Jarvis. It's all plastic, and won't decapitate anyone, but it's still for 10-year-olds and up.

One pen, ten colors. Develop complicated note-taking systems, or just send colorful hate mail with this 6-1/4" long ballpoint with cartridges in black, orange, dark green, purple, light green, red, brown, magenta, blue and aqua. Slide the button of the matching color to write, push the top down to release it. Assorted colored barrels.

Squeeze this squishy version of the eight-legged tardigrade, aks moss piglet, aka water bear, and it takes up to (9) seconds to slowly morph back into shape while you feel your stress disappear like the cashews in a bowl of mixed nuts. Measures 4-1/2” long in green with the squeezability of a marshmallow. You probably don’t even know you need it, but you’ll know you needed it once you start squeezing it.

Does anyone need to be told what a Slinky(tm) toy is?? Okay, it is a very slack spring, 2-7/8" dia x 2-1/2" long, compressed. It will stretch out to about 5 or 6 feet long without deforming. That's the boring part. The interesting part is that it "follows" itself. Slosh it from hand to hand. Put in on the top step of stairs, flip the end down a step, and watch it walk down stairs, or down an incline. Believe us, no childhood (or adulthood) is complete without an original steel Slinky(tm). It was hard for us to find it, but we are glad we did. You should be too.

THE American classic novelty item (even ahead of the whoopee cushion and rubber vomit, we think) is a set of chattering choppers. Auto-dentures. Invented by Eddy Goldfarb in 1949, a man who made the Toy Industry Hall of Fame ahead of Milton Bradley, these are, not to put too fine a point on it, the sine qua non of gagdom, the ne plus ultra of spring-driven frivolity. Ours are 2-1/2" dia, with a wind-up key.

It could have been called an Alabama Buzzer after Alabama Vest, the man who invented it. Or a Clegghorn, after Thaddeus Von Clegg, the clock master who fabricated the first one. But the hand-crafted 4-3/4" long steel instrument was a simple amusement, and the 1840s were a simple time. So it's simply a kazoo.

This hard-plastic ducky is like a rubber ducky, but with a pull-back mechanism that makes it roll on its own. Who doesn’t love a pull-back duck? In authentic rubber-ducky yellow with (2) rubber wheels on the bottom, independent suspension and no fuel required. No batteries, either. This thing basically drives itself. Let’s see a rubber ducky do that.

This goldenesque rubber chicken can talk! Actually, squawk. Known as the Shrilling Chicken, it’s 11” long, in chicken-skin goldish color, complete with goose bumps, a squish me tag and don't forget the gaping mouth. Squeeze it for hours of humorous, attention-grabbing squawks. Work it into your stand-up routine or sneak it into parties. You’re hilarious!

2" flywheel in a well-made metal frame. The trick is the same as it has been for 100 years. Wind the string through the spindle, pull it firmly to set the flywheel spinning, and perform effortless balancing magic on pencil tips, string tightropes, and the like. We tend to forget that bicycles and aircraft navigation both rely heavily on gyroscopic principles. It's never too early to tell the kids. Besides, it's fun.

For Zivko the robot Click here

You must ache for this mustache kit! Go back and read that sentence again. Compare the spellings of the key words. Feel free to use that wordplay as your own—you’re welcome! You’re also welcome for this hairplay, our super snazzy Stick-On Mustache & Facial Hair Kit. Comes with (1) subtle handlebar ’stache, (2) bushy eyebrows, (2) sideburns and (1) soul patch, all adhesive-backed. Stock up on a few kits and you’ll never ache for them again.