NOVELTIES & MISC TOYS

Play The Piston Flute

Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

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SLIDE WHISTLE

Play The Piston Flute

Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

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$3.75 EACH

Makin' Whoopee...

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

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WHOOPEE CUSHION

Makin' Whoopee...

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

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$2.50 EACH

PORTABLE REJECTION

Managing people will be so much easier with this pocket sized red NO! button on your keychain. Push it and hear a digital voice deliver (10) different versions of no, including No!; No, No, No; Noooooo; For the last time, NO!; and more. Great for denying tasks at work, and later-bedtime requests at home. (Remember--you can always change your mind to Yes, but going the other way never works.) Measures 1-3/4"" dia. x 1" tall in red with a black frame. Batteries included!

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KEYCHAIN "NO" BUTTON

PORTABLE REJECTION

Managing people will be so much easier with this pocket sized red NO! button on your keychain. Push it and hear a digital voice deliver (10) different versions of no, including No!; No, No, No; Noooooo; For the last time, NO!; and more. Great for denying tasks at work, and later-bedtime requests at home. (Remember--you can always change your mind to Yes, but going the other way never works.) Measures 1-3/4"" dia. x 1" tall in red with a black frame. Batteries included!

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$4.95 EACH

Back To Basics

It could have been called an Alabama Buzzer after Alabama Vest, the man who invented it. Or a Clegghorn, after Thaddeus Von Clegg, the clock master who fabricated the first one. But the hand-crafted 4-3/4" long steel instrument was a simple amusement, and the 1840s were a simple time. So it's simply a kazoo.

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ORIGINAL STYLE METAL KAZOO

Back To Basics

It could have been called an Alabama Buzzer after Alabama Vest, the man who invented it. Or a Clegghorn, after Thaddeus Von Clegg, the clock master who fabricated the first one. But the hand-crafted 4-3/4" long steel instrument was a simple amusement, and the 1840s were a simple time. So it's simply a kazoo.

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$2.95 EACH

Underpants In A Can!

Emergency underpants in a can. Says it all, doesn't it? Quite stretchable in a Tyvekish white fabric, "one pair fits most adults." They're hip-hugger, semi-bikini, translucent type drawers, so despite the smiling man wearing them and a red bow-tie on the can, some (insecure) guys might find these just a touch jeune fille-ish. "Safe, Sanitary, Secure." Says so right on the 3" x 1-1/2" x 2/3" flip-top metal can. Better buy (3) in case of a long weekend.

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CANNED EMERGENCY 1-SIZE UNDERPANTS

Underpants In A Can!

Emergency underpants in a can. Says it all, doesn't it? Quite stretchable in a Tyvekish white fabric, "one pair fits most adults." They're hip-hugger, semi-bikini, translucent type drawers, so despite the smiling man wearing them and a red bow-tie on the can, some (insecure) guys might find these just a touch jeune fille-ish. "Safe, Sanitary, Secure." Says so right on the 3" x 1-1/2" x 2/3" flip-top metal can. Better buy (3) in case of a long weekend.

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$4.95 EACH

Wanna Tie A Banana In A Knot?

It’s a proven stress reliever, banana knotting, and you can participate with our mega-squishy stress banana. Measures 6” long but will stretch to a couple feet. Filled with stress-relieving gel beads, and will take a good long time to return to its original banana shape, which just adds to your relief.

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SQUEEZABLE BANANA STRESS-RELIEVER

Wanna Tie A Banana In A Knot?

It’s a proven stress reliever, banana knotting, and you can participate with our mega-squishy stress banana. Measures 6” long but will stretch to a couple feet. Filled with stress-relieving gel beads, and will take a good long time to return to its original banana shape, which just adds to your relief.

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$4.85 EACH

Rattlesnake Egg Magnets

Or singing suppositories. The pair is very magnetic, whatever they are. The 1-3/4" long oblate spheroids look like highly polished black hematites. Hold them an inch apart in your palm, toss 'em into the air and listen to them make a sound like the cyber-crickets. Or an electrocuted chicken. The manufacturer suggests keeping these mega-magnets away from computers, pacemakers, TV sets and credit cards.

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MAGNETIC RATTLESNAKE EGG

Rattlesnake Egg Magnets

Or singing suppositories. The pair is very magnetic, whatever they are. The 1-3/4" long oblate spheroids look like highly polished black hematites. Hold them an inch apart in your palm, toss 'em into the air and listen to them make a sound like the cyber-crickets. Or an electrocuted chicken. The manufacturer suggests keeping these mega-magnets away from computers, pacemakers, TV sets and credit cards.

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$1.95 EACH

Squeeze This

Because it’s a squeezebox, a toy(ish) accordion with (7) bisonoric melody keys and (2) chordal keys, plus (1) to release the bellows. Measures 7-1/4” x 7” x 4-1/4” with thumb and hand straps, plus a strap to keep it shut between performances. Perfect for budding, one-kid bands or, in bulk, for starting an accordion orchestra to compete with all of those annoying ukulele players.

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MINI ACCORDION

Squeeze This

Because it’s a squeezebox, a toy(ish) accordion with (7) bisonoric melody keys and (2) chordal keys, plus (1) to release the bellows. Measures 7-1/4” x 7” x 4-1/4” with thumb and hand straps, plus a strap to keep it shut between performances. Perfect for budding, one-kid bands or, in bulk, for starting an accordion orchestra to compete with all of those annoying ukulele players.

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$23.50 EACH

Tropical Stress Fruit

What's yellow, 7-1/2" long and lowers your blood pressure? The Stress Banana. Filled with some sort of gooshy fluid that we can only imagine, it's squeezably soft and returns to its original banananess right in your hand, which CJ says is "strangely cathartic," and who among us can't use a little catharsis from time to time?

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STRESS RELEASE BANANA

Tropical Stress Fruit

What's yellow, 7-1/2" long and lowers your blood pressure? The Stress Banana. Filled with some sort of gooshy fluid that we can only imagine, it's squeezably soft and returns to its original banananess right in your hand, which CJ says is "strangely cathartic," and who among us can't use a little catharsis from time to time?

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$7.95 EACH

Coin-Snatching Kitty

Stick a coin on top of the fishy plate on this plastic coin bank and it triggers a Hiya Kitty inside to mew some cat noises, then peeks out and reaches out a paw to snatch the coin. The box, which is mysteriously made to look like an fruit crate, measures 4-3/4" x 4" x 3-1/2". You’ll need to add a couple of “AA” batteries but that’s the standard price of kitten cuteness today. CLICK HERE for video.

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BATTERY OPERATED KITTY COIN BANK

Coin-Snatching Kitty

Stick a coin on top of the fishy plate on this plastic coin bank and it triggers a Hiya Kitty inside to mew some cat noises, then peeks out and reaches out a paw to snatch the coin. The box, which is mysteriously made to look like an fruit crate, measures 4-3/4" x 4" x 3-1/2". You’ll need to add a couple of “AA” batteries but that’s the standard price of kitten cuteness today. CLICK HERE for video.

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$12.95 EACH

The Eyes Have It

Time was, you wanted answers to questions, you had to have a magic 8-ball, but really, what would an 8-ball know? What you need is the All-Seeing Eye, because eyes see stuff. Eyes know stuff. This big eye is 3-7/8" dia with a window on the bottom that reveals the answers to your questions--like the 8-ball, except the eye is pretty much always right. This eye, BTW, is blue, like Sinatra’s. (Best get two, because eyes come in pairs.)

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ALL-SEEING EYE FORTUNE TELLING GAME

The Eyes Have It

Time was, you wanted answers to questions, you had to have a magic 8-ball, but really, what would an 8-ball know? What you need is the All-Seeing Eye, because eyes see stuff. Eyes know stuff. This big eye is 3-7/8" dia with a window on the bottom that reveals the answers to your questions--like the 8-ball, except the eye is pretty much always right. This eye, BTW, is blue, like Sinatra’s. (Best get two, because eyes come in pairs.)

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$7.50 EACH

Feeling A Little Cranky?

Here's a little music box to crank. These are really cute, with a very nice sound, and they're in clear acrylic cases so you, or impressionable youngsters, can watch them work. They measure 2-1/4"x 2" x 1-1/4" with a 7/8" crank. We'll pick one that plays When You Wish upon a Star, Row, Row, Row your Boat, Brahms' Lullaby, or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. We won't pick the one that plays the score from Die Walküre because the wheel is just enormous.

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MUSIC BOX

Feeling A Little Cranky?

Here's a little music box to crank. These are really cute, with a very nice sound, and they're in clear acrylic cases so you, or impressionable youngsters, can watch them work. They measure 2-1/4"x 2" x 1-1/4" with a 7/8" crank. We'll pick one that plays When You Wish upon a Star, Row, Row, Row your Boat, Brahms' Lullaby, or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. We won't pick the one that plays the score from Die Walküre because the wheel is just enormous.

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$5.95 EACH

Mustachio Madness

Very Mad Men-ish, these fuzzy stick-on mustaches, with models on the package so you can see exactly how you'd have looked in 1963. You get (7) 'staches, including the Hollywood, Hero, Bruiser and Weasel in black, the Square and Sheriff in brown, and the gray, handlebar Grampa. Great disguises. Great costumes.

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MANLY STICK-ON MUSTACHES

Mustachio Madness

Very Mad Men-ish, these fuzzy stick-on mustaches, with models on the package so you can see exactly how you'd have looked in 1963. You get (7) 'staches, including the Hollywood, Hero, Bruiser and Weasel in black, the Square and Sheriff in brown, and the gray, handlebar Grampa. Great disguises. Great costumes.

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$6.75 EACH

You Kazoo?

Us too, but then who doesn’t kazoo? These 5" long classic steel kazoos have 1-1/8” resonators, and come in (16) festive patterns. We’ll pick one because, really, who do you know who’s more festive than we are.

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ASSORTED-COLOR KAZOOS

You Kazoo?

Us too, but then who doesn’t kazoo? These 5" long classic steel kazoos have 1-1/8” resonators, and come in (16) festive patterns. We’ll pick one because, really, who do you know who’s more festive than we are.

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$2.65 EACH

Etched In Our Memory

Before there were stations to play at, when gameboys were just boys who played games, when fun was spelled “wheeee,” there was the Etch A Sketch®, the original small-motor-skills trainer. This classic, legendary design device allowed kids to create perfect right-angles in their pursuit of anything from simple boxes to full Frank Lloyd Wright house designs. Advanced sketchers with mad knob skills could even bend those lines. Return with us now to the thrilling days of yesteryear and try it for yourself, or give it to a kid. Measures approx 9" x 7" x 1", and you still just shake it to erase.

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CLASSIC ETCH A SKETCH® GAME

Etched In Our Memory

Before there were stations to play at, when gameboys were just boys who played games, when fun was spelled “wheeee,” there was the Etch A Sketch®, the original small-motor-skills trainer. This classic, legendary design device allowed kids to create perfect right-angles in their pursuit of anything from simple boxes to full Frank Lloyd Wright house designs. Advanced sketchers with mad knob skills could even bend those lines. Return with us now to the thrilling days of yesteryear and try it for yourself, or give it to a kid. Measures approx 9" x 7" x 1", and you still just shake it to erase.

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$19.95 EACH

The Buzzer Of Joy

The original Joy Buzzer was called the Joke Buzzer (1932 U.S. patent #1845735, Soren Adams) and it replaced the more dangerous Zapper, which is lost to time, more's the pity. Our standard wind-up model is a 1-3/8" dia circle of perennial vibrating fun, with a 7/8" dia finger loop. (Watch for the solar-powered joy buzzer, still under development.)

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HAND-HELD JOY BUZZER

The Buzzer Of Joy

The original Joy Buzzer was called the Joke Buzzer (1932 U.S. patent #1845735, Soren Adams) and it replaced the more dangerous Zapper, which is lost to time, more's the pity. Our standard wind-up model is a 1-3/8" dia circle of perennial vibrating fun, with a 7/8" dia finger loop. (Watch for the solar-powered joy buzzer, still under development.)

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$3.95 EACH

Canned Magic

Very much a classic magic trick set, but in a little 5-1/2” x 4” x 2-1/4” tin. Hardly seems possible, but it contains more than (25) tricks, including vase and ball, mystery computer, floating hearts, balls and cup, disappearing coin, nail box and a buncha card tricks. Includes a 32-page instruction booklet, too.

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MAGIC TRICKS IN A TIN

Canned Magic

Very much a classic magic trick set, but in a little 5-1/2” x 4” x 2-1/4” tin. Hardly seems possible, but it contains more than (25) tricks, including vase and ball, mystery computer, floating hearts, balls and cup, disappearing coin, nail box and a buncha card tricks. Includes a 32-page instruction booklet, too.

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$9.95 EACH

Spud Launcher

A plastic pistol shaped toy that shoots slugs of raw potato. Push the barrel into a potato, break off the slug, aim and shoot up to fifteen feet. Loads of fun, environmentally harmless, and about as safe as any "projectile" toy can be!! Pulls apart for cleaning. For kids ages 5 and up.

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PISTOL SHAPED POTATO GUN

Spud Launcher

A plastic pistol shaped toy that shoots slugs of raw potato. Push the barrel into a potato, break off the slug, aim and shoot up to fifteen feet. Loads of fun, environmentally harmless, and about as safe as any "projectile" toy can be!! Pulls apart for cleaning. For kids ages 5 and up.

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$3.50 EACH

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