NOVELTIES & MISC TOYS

PORTABLE REJECTION

Managing people will be so much easier with this pocket sized red NO! button on your keychain. Push it and hear a digital voice deliver (10) different versions of no, including No!; No, No, No; Noooooo; For the last time, NO!; and more. Great for denying tasks at work, and later-bedtime requests at home. (Remember--you can always change your mind to Yes, but going the other way never works.) Measures 1-3/4"" dia. x 1" tall in red with a black frame. Batteries included!

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KEYCHAIN "NO" BUTTON

PORTABLE REJECTION

Managing people will be so much easier with this pocket sized red NO! button on your keychain. Push it and hear a digital voice deliver (10) different versions of no, including No!; No, No, No; Noooooo; For the last time, NO!; and more. Great for denying tasks at work, and later-bedtime requests at home. (Remember--you can always change your mind to Yes, but going the other way never works.) Measures 1-3/4"" dia. x 1" tall in red with a black frame. Batteries included!

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$4.95 EACH

Play The Piston Flute

Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

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SLIDE WHISTLE

Play The Piston Flute

Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

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$3.75 EACH

Coin-Snatching Kitty

Stick a coin on top of the fishy plate on this plastic coin bank and it triggers a Hiya Kitty inside to mew some cat noises, then peeks out and reaches out a paw to snatch the coin. The box, which is mysteriously made to look like an fruit crate, measures 4-3/4" x 4" x 3-1/2". You’ll need to add a couple of “AA” batteries but that’s the standard price of kitten cuteness today. CLICK HERE for video.

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BATTERY OPERATED KITTY COIN BANK

Coin-Snatching Kitty

Stick a coin on top of the fishy plate on this plastic coin bank and it triggers a Hiya Kitty inside to mew some cat noises, then peeks out and reaches out a paw to snatch the coin. The box, which is mysteriously made to look like an fruit crate, measures 4-3/4" x 4" x 3-1/2". You’ll need to add a couple of “AA” batteries but that’s the standard price of kitten cuteness today. CLICK HERE for video.

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$12.95 EACH

Makin' Whoopee...

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

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WHOOPEE CUSHION

Makin' Whoopee...

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

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$2.50 EACH

Squeeze This

Because it’s a squeezebox, a toy(ish) accordion with (7) bisonoric melody keys and (2) chordal keys, plus (1) to release the bellows. Measures 7-1/4” x 7” x 4-1/4” with thumb and hand straps, plus a strap to keep it shut between performances. Perfect for budding, one-kid bands or, in bulk, for starting an accordion orchestra to compete with all of those annoying ukulele players.

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MINI ACCORDION

Squeeze This

Because it’s a squeezebox, a toy(ish) accordion with (7) bisonoric melody keys and (2) chordal keys, plus (1) to release the bellows. Measures 7-1/4” x 7” x 4-1/4” with thumb and hand straps, plus a strap to keep it shut between performances. Perfect for budding, one-kid bands or, in bulk, for starting an accordion orchestra to compete with all of those annoying ukulele players.

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$23.50 EACH

Feeling A Little Cranky?

Here's a little music box to crank. These are really cute, with a very nice sound, and they're in clear acrylic cases so you, or impressionable youngsters, can watch them work. They measure 2-1/4"x 2" x 1-1/4" with a 7/8" crank. We'll pick one that plays When You Wish upon a Star, Row, Row, Row your Boat, Brahms' Lullaby, or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. We won't pick the one that plays the score from Die Walküre because the wheel is just enormous.

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MUSIC BOX

Feeling A Little Cranky?

Here's a little music box to crank. These are really cute, with a very nice sound, and they're in clear acrylic cases so you, or impressionable youngsters, can watch them work. They measure 2-1/4"x 2" x 1-1/4" with a 7/8" crank. We'll pick one that plays When You Wish upon a Star, Row, Row, Row your Boat, Brahms' Lullaby, or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. We won't pick the one that plays the score from Die Walküre because the wheel is just enormous.

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$5.95 EACH

Rattlesnake Eggs

Or singing suppositories. The pair is very magnetic, whatever they are. The 1-3/4" long oblate spheroids look like highly polished black hematites. Hold them an inch apart in your palm, toss 'em into the air and listen to them make a sound like the cyber-crickets. Or an electrocuted chicken. The manufacturer suggests keeping these mega-magnets away from computers, pacemakers, TV sets and credit cards.

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RATTLESNAKE EGG

Rattlesnake Eggs

Or singing suppositories. The pair is very magnetic, whatever they are. The 1-3/4" long oblate spheroids look like highly polished black hematites. Hold them an inch apart in your palm, toss 'em into the air and listen to them make a sound like the cyber-crickets. Or an electrocuted chicken. The manufacturer suggests keeping these mega-magnets away from computers, pacemakers, TV sets and credit cards.

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$1.95 EACH

Back To Basics

It could have been called an Alabama Buzzer after Alabama Vest, the man who invented it. Or a Clegghorn, after Thaddeus Von Clegg, the clock master who fabricated the first one. But the hand-crafted 4-3/4" long steel instrument was a simple amusement, and the 1840s were a simple time. So it's simply a kazoo.

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ORIGINAL STYLE METAL KAZOO

Back To Basics

It could have been called an Alabama Buzzer after Alabama Vest, the man who invented it. Or a Clegghorn, after Thaddeus Von Clegg, the clock master who fabricated the first one. But the hand-crafted 4-3/4" long steel instrument was a simple amusement, and the 1840s were a simple time. So it's simply a kazoo.

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$2.95 EACH

Rebel Without A Utensil

You never know when you might find yourself in a ramen noodle gang fight. This switchblade spork is 6-1/2" long and snaps open to 11". Has a pushbutton trigger switch and a sliding safety so you don't spork yourself by mistake. If Russ Tamblyn had had one of these, he might still be a Jet.

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SWITCHBLADE SPORK

Rebel Without A Utensil

You never know when you might find yourself in a ramen noodle gang fight. This switchblade spork is 6-1/2" long and snaps open to 11". Has a pushbutton trigger switch and a sliding safety so you don't spork yourself by mistake. If Russ Tamblyn had had one of these, he might still be a Jet.

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$7.75 EACH

Flexi-Sphere

Interesting wire contraption that we played with as a child. A series of (4) tiers of overlapping and intertwined brass wire semicircular hoops are anchored at the open end to a pair of full circles. The whole can be shaped into a tube, double balls, a flower petal, etc, depending upon what areas are opened, which closed. A variety of colored beads on the hoops add a decorative touch. Fun, intriguing and decorative all at the same time.

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FLEXI-SPHERE DESK TOY

Flexi-Sphere

Interesting wire contraption that we played with as a child. A series of (4) tiers of overlapping and intertwined brass wire semicircular hoops are anchored at the open end to a pair of full circles. The whole can be shaped into a tube, double balls, a flower petal, etc, depending upon what areas are opened, which closed. A variety of colored beads on the hoops add a decorative touch. Fun, intriguing and decorative all at the same time.

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$4.95 EACH

Jaw Harp...The Dentist's Friend

Plunk your magic twanger and call yourself froggy. This 3-5/8" long steel jaw harp, or mouth harp, is technically a plucked idiophone, but don't say that in Nashville. Includes playing instructions. Pay no attention to that vibration in your head.

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STEEL JAW HARP

Jaw Harp...The Dentist's Friend

Plunk your magic twanger and call yourself froggy. This 3-5/8" long steel jaw harp, or mouth harp, is technically a plucked idiophone, but don't say that in Nashville. Includes playing instructions. Pay no attention to that vibration in your head.

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$6.95 EACH

Box-O-Meat Box

From the world of gag gift boxes, this Hot Dog Homestead box has illustrations for a DIY house kit made out of (9) kinds of meat, including pate for plaster. Measures 11-1/2” x 9-3/4” x 3” deep and is meant to amuse folks before they open it to find their real gift inside. We here at the home office think you should pack it with, yes, (9) kinds of meat--for even more laughs.

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GAG GIFT BOX MEAT-THEMED

Box-O-Meat Box

From the world of gag gift boxes, this Hot Dog Homestead box has illustrations for a DIY house kit made out of (9) kinds of meat, including pate for plaster. Measures 11-1/2” x 9-3/4” x 3” deep and is meant to amuse folks before they open it to find their real gift inside. We here at the home office think you should pack it with, yes, (9) kinds of meat--for even more laughs.

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$6.75 EACH

You Kazoo?

Us too, but then who doesn’t kazoo? These 5" long classic steel kazoos have 1-1/8” resonators, and come in (16) festive patterns. We’ll pick one because, really, who do you know who’s more festive than we are.

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ASSORTED-COLOR KAZOOS

You Kazoo?

Us too, but then who doesn’t kazoo? These 5" long classic steel kazoos have 1-1/8” resonators, and come in (16) festive patterns. We’ll pick one because, really, who do you know who’s more festive than we are.

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$2.65 EACH

Soprano in C

Special for your beginner tootler. Our black (ABS plastic) soprano recorder measures 12-5/8" long and includes a plastic carrying case, cleaning rod, and a sheet of fingering instructions.

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RECORDER FLUTE

Soprano in C

Special for your beginner tootler. Our black (ABS plastic) soprano recorder measures 12-5/8" long and includes a plastic carrying case, cleaning rod, and a sheet of fingering instructions.

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$3.75 EACH

Drinking Glasses

Literally. These clear, plastic-tubing faux-specs start in your soda, wrap around your ears and eyes, sit on your nose and end up in your mouth. You slurp and your drink zips around your face and into your yap. The last word in sophisticated beverage consumption. Made of 1/8" and 1/4" tubing, the slurp-parts detach for when you're not drinking. Some folks here believe we got this, despite the fact that it's in perfect working order, because the package says "It's suck-sational!"

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SILLY STRAW DRINKING GLASSES

Drinking Glasses

Literally. These clear, plastic-tubing faux-specs start in your soda, wrap around your ears and eyes, sit on your nose and end up in your mouth. You slurp and your drink zips around your face and into your yap. The last word in sophisticated beverage consumption. Made of 1/8" and 1/4" tubing, the slurp-parts detach for when you're not drinking. Some folks here believe we got this, despite the fact that it's in perfect working order, because the package says "It's suck-sational!"

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$3.75 EACH

The Catapencil Is Here!

Moms and teachers everywhere will thank us for stocking this 9" long slingshot that's made of a Y-shaped double-eraser plastic top on a #2 pencil. Get the proctor's attention during the SAT! Package says it proves the pen is mightier than the sword, and you could ask the other kids in detention if that's true.

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PENCIL RUBBER BAND SLINGSHOT

The Catapencil Is Here!

Moms and teachers everywhere will thank us for stocking this 9" long slingshot that's made of a Y-shaped double-eraser plastic top on a #2 pencil. Get the proctor's attention during the SAT! Package says it proves the pen is mightier than the sword, and you could ask the other kids in detention if that's true.

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$3.50 EACH

Pay The Pooch

Drop some coins into this dog's dish and watch him get all wiggly wacky with barely controlled excitement while he gobbles your change and stores it in the base of the bank. You add a pair of "AA" batteries because animatronic dogs don't eat Alpo®. Pup is 3-1/2" tall on a 5-7/8" x 3-1/8" x 2-1/2" base. We'll pick a pup from our litter of assorted mongrels. See it in action. Click

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ELECTRIC DOGGIE BANK

Pay The Pooch

Drop some coins into this dog's dish and watch him get all wiggly wacky with barely controlled excitement while he gobbles your change and stores it in the base of the bank. You add a pair of "AA" batteries because animatronic dogs don't eat Alpo®. Pup is 3-1/2" tall on a 5-7/8" x 3-1/8" x 2-1/2" base. We'll pick a pup from our litter of assorted mongrels. See it in action. Click

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$14.95 EACH

The Joke's On Them

Not your amateurish gag boxes, but 4-color genuine-looking boxes like you find at all your Big-Box stores, with graphics, marketing copy, testimonials and instructions. You pick the Crib Dribbler infant feeding system, just like rabbit waterers or the time saving Bathe & Brew so you can take care of the morning shower and coffee at the same time. Boxes are all 11-1/4" x 9" x 3-1/4" and are, naturally, empty. You see, the real gift goes inside. 

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BATHE & BREW GAG BOX

The Joke's On Them

Not your amateurish gag boxes, but 4-color genuine-looking boxes like you find at all your Big-Box stores, with graphics, marketing copy, testimonials and instructions. You pick the Crib Dribbler infant feeding system, just like rabbit waterers or the time saving Bathe & Brew so you can take care of the morning shower and coffee at the same time. Boxes are all 11-1/4" x 9" x 3-1/4" and are, naturally, empty. You see, the real gift goes inside. 

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