TOY ANIMALS & CREATURES

This goldenesque rubber chicken can talk! Actually, squawk. Known as the Shrilling Chicken, it’s 11” long, in chicken-skin goldish color, complete with goose bumps, a squish me tag and don't forget the gaping mouth. Squeeze it for hours of humorous, attention-grabbing squawks. Work it into your stand-up routine or sneak it into parties. You’re hilarious!

Squeeze this squishy version of the eight-legged tardigrade, aks moss piglet, aka water bear, and it takes up to (9) seconds to slowly morph back into shape while you feel your stress disappear like the cashews in a bowl of mixed nuts. Measures 4-1/2” long in green with the squeezability of a marshmallow. You probably don’t even know you need it, but you’ll know you needed it once you start squeezing it.

It's a fun three-fer, a troika of terrific toys that we'd buy if we hadn't already bought a bunch of them. First up, a sticky-footed goofy-faced insectoid wall-walker. Throw it at the wall and watch it tumble down. Second, a mumble-mouth game with a plastic lip spreader and a deck of phrases that make you sound ridiculous while other players try to guess what you're saying. Finally, the piece de aero-amusement, a flying, singing penguin, exactly like our classic flying screaming monkey except it's a penguin and it sings. Also, we think it’s French because of the scarf. Shoot the little bugger across the room and it sings “I believe I can fly…I believe I can touch the sky...oh, no...maybe not.” Frankly, the penguin is worth the price of admission alone.

Who wouldn’t love a green avocado plush toy? Scrooge? Schleprock? Debbie Downer? They’re probably the only three, because the rest of us wouldn’t be able to resist this approx 15” x 10” x 5” two-tone-green avocado half with a beige pit for a face, brown eyes and a very happy red smile. There’s a little brown stem on top, too, and a hanging loop. Way softer than an actual avocado.

Naked squirrels always trouble us. For your instagrammatic pleasure, this 7-3/4" tall laminated squirrel cut-out stands on a folding easel and comes with (39) assorted, reusable vinyl clothing stickers, including tighty whities, pearls, a propeller beanie, sneakers, an argyle sweater and a whole bunch of holiday costumes. Easter bunny with a chain saw, anyone?

No need to wait 70 million years anymore. Satisfy your impatient paleontologists with this DIY fossil-making kit. Comes with (2) bags of air-dry clay, (7) acrylic paint colors, a brush and (3) dinosaur figures. Never too early, or late, to learn about fossils.

Behold our version of the gravity-fed sliding woodpecker. Ours is a 1-3/4" standard black woodpecker, not counting his cute red plume, slowly pecking his way down a 16-1/2" tall metal rod. His super-rapid, lifelike pecking action is strangely compelling to adults, and draws belly laughs from toddlers!

Impressive, this 3-foot Lizard King. The 1:14 scale plastic model of a Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton has 51 bones that snap together, then snap apart easily for later use, which is more than you can say about the original. Measures 36" long, and comes with a display stand. Bones are nicely aged for paleontological verisimilitude. Very nice kit, with legs, as they say! For ages 8 and up.

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It’s a short row, granted, but a row is a row. These are lesser rubber duckies, just like their larger cousins in the bathtub, but at a cute 2” x 2”. Think shower ducks—small enough to tuck in the soap dish. You’ll get (1) each in pink, blue, and yellow or the standard yellow 3-pack. our choice but we can tell you most of them are the colored ones. 

But cute. The pangolin is the most illegally trafficked animal in the world, because people think pangolin scales cure diseases. It’s worse than having a rhino horn. They're nice little critters, actually, like armadillos with better armor, and they eat bugs and curl up in a ball when threatened, like so many of us. Our pangolin is 7” long x 3” tall in hard rubber. Football coach alert: this is the perfect mascot looking for a school. “Join us in welcoming the Fighting Pangolins of Northeast Southern Idaho State Teachers' College!”

Know why? Because it’s a Regal Blue Tang, which, for the ichthyologically impaired among you, is a fish. This one’s fuzzy, though. Measures 9” long x 6” tall at the gills, in blue, black and yellow plush. Has some plastic pellets in his belly, too, so he’ll sit up straight. Buy a bunch, make a mobile to hang above your aquarium and entertain your real guppies.

Our robotic kingii dragon (Chlamydosaurus kingii, or frilled-neck lizard) is better than a puppy because you don't have clean up after it and it won't chew the furniture. This STEM education kit has (2) motors and digital control via IR sensors to activate LED eyes, motorized mouth and pop-out neck frill, plus "Escape" and "Chase" modes, which make it retreat and follow you using IR sensors, respectively. You'll need (4) "AAA" batteries and some patience, as this kit is delightfully challenging. Finished dragon will be 13-1/2" long x 8-1/4" x 5". For ages 10+.

Plastic insects, lizards and arachnids might not scare you, but they have the potential to scare the bejeebers out of your mother if you put a couple in the sugar jar. You pick: the Creepy Crawleys Collection with (15) 1-1/2” long creepies, including a centipede, scorpion, beetles, roach, ant, grasshopper caterpillar and giant fly, along with tiny palm trees we don't understand; the Insect Collection with a dozen 1” to 2” critters including a dragonfly, grasshopper, fly, beetles, mantis, scorpion, ant, cockroach and a lizard, which isn't an insect but go tell it to the manufacturer; or the Spider Collection with a dozen very colorful arachnids, any of which will stand out nicely in a sugar canister.

You may well have wondered where the boneless chicken breasts in your local supermarket come from. The answer is from boneless chickens. And we have some life sized rubber models of the birds to prove it. Modeled from life, they are shown plucked and as they might appear hanging in the poultry store window. Seeing is believing, at least in Missouri, so get one and look.

Why fork out thousands for what is, after all, just a battery-operated car, when you can own Nikola himself. Our plush Tesla doll is just over 13” tall and wears a little houndstooth jacket and matching vest. You’re going to love stroking his ultra-soft hair, and the BBs in his bottom assure that he’ll sit right up on your desk and keep you company.

Old MacDonald had a very odd farm. And you can too, with this farmload of (10) baby animals, including a calf, rabbit, piglet, baby chick, duckling, lamb, kid (that's a baby goat, kids), kitten and beagle puppy. All are plastic and approx 1-1/2” long x 1” to 1-1/2” tall, which makes for a scale that's a tad whimsical, with the little chick standing taller than the piglet and the rabbit appearing to outweigh the lamb by a factor of five or six. They're all as cute as the dickens, though.

Ready to fulfill all of your unmet movable yeti needs, this 6-1/2" tall plastic bigfoot has articulated ankles, knees, hips, waist, shoulders and elbows, which makes him posable in more positions than Twyla Tharp.

Introducing Mothman, the mysterious and hairy winged creature purported to appear in West Virginia skies before tragic events occur. He's described by genuine eyewitnesses as man-sized with glowing red eyes and feathery antennae. Our version is in hard black rubber with red eyes. He stands 5” tall, and would have an 11” wingspan if he could spread his wings, which he can't. (He's sort of in pouncing mode, ready to land on you or your unsuspecting lambswool sweater.) Be the only house on your block with a Mothman, and regale your guests with the legend.