You don’t have to put your lips together and blow. You could just send us the price of a banana-chocolate smoothie and we’ll stick this pair of excellent wooden whistles in the mail. One is a 7-3/8” long, two-tone train whistle, and the other is a 5-3/4” long cartoony slide whistle that makes the dropping/sliding sound of your Saturday morning youth. No animator, jug band, life of the party or primary grade teacher should be without these.

Managing people will be so much easier with this giant red NO! button on your desk, or at home. Push it and hear a digital voice deliver (10) different versions of no, including No!; No, No, No; Noooooo; For the last time, NO!; and more. Great for denying tasks at work, and later-bedtime requests at home. (Remember--you can always change your mind to Yes, but going the other way never works.) Measures 3-1/2" dia x 1-1/2" tall in red with a black frame. You add a pair of "AAA" batteries.

Check out our keychain version! Same great sounds in a mini version. 

Managing people will be so much easier with this pocket sized red NO! button on your keychain. Push it and hear a digital voice deliver (10) different versions of no, including No!; No, No, No; Noooooo; For the last time, NO!; and more. Great for denying tasks at work, and later-bedtime requests at home. (Remember--you can always change your mind to Yes, but going the other way never works.) Measures 1-3/4"" dia. x 1" tall in red with a black frame. Batteries included!

Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

We love these! You're going to love these! Your kids are going to love these! Hundreds of clear marble-sized bubbles can cover the floor, cling to the sides of furniture, land on your arm. They float enchantingly, rising on air currents you can't even feel. After a few seconds, the bubbles are hard enough to catch or stack. Some will still be perched in out-of-the-way spots a day later. Touchabubbles goop, thicker than the bubble-blowing liquid you're familiar with, comes in a 4" plastic test tube with a wand built into the cap, and a clip on the side so you can carry it in a shirt pocket. The goop is nontoxic, but it tastes really bad, and you probably won't want these landing on expensive tabletops, so kids under 8 should have adult help with them. They should be sharing the fun anyway!

Emergency underpants in a can. Says it all, doesn't it? Quite stretchable in a Tyvekish white fabric, "one pair fits most adults." They're hip-hugger, semi-bikini, translucent type drawers, so despite the smiling man wearing them and a red bow-tie on the can, some (insecure) guys might find these just a touch jeune fille-ish. "Safe, Sanitary, Secure." Says so right on the 3" x 1-1/2" x 2/3" flip-top metal can. Better buy (3) in case of a long weekend.

No mother will approve this item, so keep quiet until it arrives. Our 2-1/4" long inflatable tongue has a pacifier-type end that you hold between your teeth. Blow into it and the rather standard-size pink rubber tongue inflates to three times normal size. Guaranteed grossness. Also a cinch for classroom confiscation, so we’d buy several.

Indeed not. This ultra-stretchy 1-7/8” cube of rubber Swiss cheese stands there with a pair of ultra-stretchy white mice, ready to crawl in and out of all those Swiss holes. Mice are 2” long, not counting tails, which you shouldn’t because you have better things to do.

Or singing suppositories. The pair is very magnetic, whatever they are. The 1-3/4" long oblate spheroids look like highly polished black hematites. Hold them an inch apart in your palm, toss 'em into the air and listen to them make a sound like the cyber-crickets. Or an electrocuted chicken. The manufacturer suggests keeping these mega-magnets away from computers, pacemakers, TV sets and credit cards.