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HOUSE & GARDEN STOCKING STUFFERS

Not Just Violet, But Ultraviolet

This pocket-sized mini-flashlight has (9) 405nm ultraviolet LEDs and myriad uses, from checking U.S. currency to working the door at your ultra-hip downtown clubs, spotting radiator and transmission fluid leaks, mineral identification, and (yes, it's true) locating lost scorpions in the dark. Measures approx 3-3/4" long x 1-1/8" dia with knurled sections so you won't lose your grip, and a wrist strap in case you do. You supply (3) "AAA" batteries and the scorpions.

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POCKET SIZE UV LED FLASHLIGHT

Not Just Violet, But Ultraviolet

This pocket-sized mini-flashlight has (9) 405nm ultraviolet LEDs and myriad uses, from checking U.S. currency to working the door at your ultra-hip downtown clubs, spotting radiator and transmission fluid leaks, mineral identification, and (yes, it's true) locating lost scorpions in the dark. Measures approx 3-3/4" long x 1-1/8" dia with knurled sections so you won't lose your grip, and a wrist strap in case you do. You supply (3) "AAA" batteries and the scorpions.

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$8.95 EACH

Ceramic Is The New Steel

The smart cutters and choppers these days are using ceramic knives because they stay so sharp for so long, and who remembers to have their knives sharpened? Ours measure 7" long over all, with a red, green, or deep aqua handle, a 3" blade and a sheath. Don't go into the kitchen without one. Slice, dice, chop and mince, and forget about sharpening. Like you always do.

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7" CERAMIC BLADE CUTTING KNIFE

Ceramic Is The New Steel

The smart cutters and choppers these days are using ceramic knives because they stay so sharp for so long, and who remembers to have their knives sharpened? Ours measure 7" long over all, with a red, green, or deep aqua handle, a 3" blade and a sheath. Don't go into the kitchen without one. Slice, dice, chop and mince, and forget about sharpening. Like you always do.

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$7.50 EACH

Green Laser Pointer Par Excellence!

Da Mare could use this to point out cracks in the infrastructure at Wrigley Field. You, having a forgiving nature, will resist the urge to point out cracks in da mayor's infrastructure. You will, of course, use it to point out chimney cracks to the tuck-pointer, a cracked limb to the tree-trimmer, and the crack in your profit picture during a slide presentation. You can do all that and much, much more with the bright light from this 5mW green laser pointer. It's an unbelievable tool. If you need a laser pointer that seems to go on forever and is so strong that you can actually see the beam in the dark, it will be the best low-cost investment you ever made. Or the coolest high-end toy. The 532nm Class IIIa light is 5-5/8" long x 1/2" dia, with (2) "AAA" batteries (not included), a momentary-on switch, pocket clip. (Sorry case not included). An absolute necessity for construction, surveying, warehousing, inspection and other large sites. And for playing in the dark.

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5mW GREEN LASER POINTER

Green Laser Pointer Par Excellence!

Da Mare could use this to point out cracks in the infrastructure at Wrigley Field. You, having a forgiving nature, will resist the urge to point out cracks in da mayor's infrastructure. You will, of course, use it to point out chimney cracks to the tuck-pointer, a cracked limb to the tree-trimmer, and the crack in your profit picture during a slide presentation. You can do all that and much, much more with the bright light from this 5mW green laser pointer. It's an unbelievable tool. If you need a laser pointer that seems to go on forever and is so strong that you can actually see the beam in the dark, it will be the best low-cost investment you ever made. Or the coolest high-end toy. The 532nm Class IIIa light is 5-5/8" long x 1/2" dia, with (2) "AAA" batteries (not included), a momentary-on switch, pocket clip. (Sorry case not included). An absolute necessity for construction, surveying, warehousing, inspection and other large sites. And for playing in the dark.

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$14.95 EACH

Amazing Mighty Mini Light

Call it a gonzo version of our best work-light, this 4-5/8" x 2-1/4" x 1" cigarette-pack-size light has (60) white LEDs in a 3" x 1-1/2" window with a bright mode and a way brighter mode that would blind a turkey vulture, plus (4) more for a standard flashlight mode. Includes a flip-out easel, hook and a disc magnet. Comes with (3) "AAA"s. Manufacturer rates this bad boy at 900 lumens. 

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ULTRA BRIGHT LED LIGHT

Amazing Mighty Mini Light

Call it a gonzo version of our best work-light, this 4-5/8" x 2-1/4" x 1" cigarette-pack-size light has (60) white LEDs in a 3" x 1-1/2" window with a bright mode and a way brighter mode that would blind a turkey vulture, plus (4) more for a standard flashlight mode. Includes a flip-out easel, hook and a disc magnet. Comes with (3) "AAA"s. Manufacturer rates this bad boy at 900 lumens. 

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$6.90 EACH

Clean Your Contacts

Works on all of them except the ones stuck to your eyeballs. Corrosion-Be-Gone is a gel made to remove the schmutz from all types of battery terminals, circuit boards and contacts, on everything from cars to computer boards. Our each is a 0.3 oz jar.

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CORROSION BE GONE BATTERY CONTACT CLEANER

Clean Your Contacts

Works on all of them except the ones stuck to your eyeballs. Corrosion-Be-Gone is a gel made to remove the schmutz from all types of battery terminals, circuit boards and contacts, on everything from cars to computer boards. Our each is a 0.3 oz jar.

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$4.95 EACH

Astronautical Snack

Freeze-dried Neapolitan ice cream sandwich, it says on the foil package, just like the astronauts got if they ate all of their freeze-dried peas. Not frozen, of course, or even chilled, but you get one yummy pack, ready to eat, just under half an ounce, which is more than you'd think. 

 

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FREEZE-DRIED READY-TO-EAT ICE CREAM

Astronautical Snack

Freeze-dried Neapolitan ice cream sandwich, it says on the foil package, just like the astronauts got if they ate all of their freeze-dried peas. Not frozen, of course, or even chilled, but you get one yummy pack, ready to eat, just under half an ounce, which is more than you'd think. 

 

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$4.00 EACH

Pull-N-Scratch

It's either a telescoping aluminum backscratcher, a fork for people whose elbows don't bend, or a sand rake for miniature Zen gardens. You pick. The 5-draw shaft extends from 6-5/8" to 20-3/8" long, the 5-tine rake is 1-3/16" wide, and it has a pocket clip.

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POCKET SCRATCHER

Pull-N-Scratch

It's either a telescoping aluminum backscratcher, a fork for people whose elbows don't bend, or a sand rake for miniature Zen gardens. You pick. The 5-draw shaft extends from 6-5/8" to 20-3/8" long, the 5-tine rake is 1-3/16" wide, and it has a pocket clip.

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$3.95 EACH

GIFT CERTIFICATES !!

Twelve-year old Tommy is a whiz with kits and models—but who knows which one he wants? Tommy’s teacher creates great art and craft projects—but who knows what off-the-wall materials will inspire her? And Grandpa Sam! Who knows what motors or bearings or resistors or piezo speakers he wants? Or what in tarnation he wants them for? Doesn’t matter! Give them all gift certificates! Just select whatever combination adds up to the amount of the gift you want to give, for mail orders include the name of the recipient (write extra legibly, please). We’ll send you or him or her one of these handy gifts, complete with our signature sketch of Jarvis. (No charges for shipping and handling on a gift certificate, but those will be charged on the order against which the certificate is redeemed.) To redeem your gift certificate online, please email us your order number and the gift certificate number, and we will apply it to your order. Thanks!

PLEASE NOTE: Orders containing just gift certificates and no other items will ship out via First Class mail. Contact us for other shipping options on gift certificates. Thanks! 

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$10 GIFT CERTIFICATE

GIFT CERTIFICATES !!

Twelve-year old Tommy is a whiz with kits and models—but who knows which one he wants? Tommy’s teacher creates great art and craft projects—but who knows what off-the-wall materials will inspire her? And Grandpa Sam! Who knows what motors or bearings or resistors or piezo speakers he wants? Or what in tarnation he wants them for? Doesn’t matter! Give them all gift certificates! Just select whatever combination adds up to the amount of the gift you want to give, for mail orders include the name of the recipient (write extra legibly, please). We’ll send you or him or her one of these handy gifts, complete with our signature sketch of Jarvis. (No charges for shipping and handling on a gift certificate, but those will be charged on the order against which the certificate is redeemed.) To redeem your gift certificate online, please email us your order number and the gift certificate number, and we will apply it to your order. Thanks!

PLEASE NOTE: Orders containing just gift certificates and no other items will ship out via First Class mail. Contact us for other shipping options on gift certificates. Thanks! 

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Restore Your Remote

Don't toss it and buy a universal remote. (How many things are really universal, after all?) Try this jar of Keypad Fix, designed to clean and restore conductivity to the carbon on the keys and the copper PC board pads that make up the rubber-coated switches on remotes, game controllers, and security keypads. Contains enough to coat over 200 button contacts.

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KEYPAD FIX

Restore Your Remote

Don't toss it and buy a universal remote. (How many things are really universal, after all?) Try this jar of Keypad Fix, designed to clean and restore conductivity to the carbon on the keys and the copper PC board pads that make up the rubber-coated switches on remotes, game controllers, and security keypads. Contains enough to coat over 200 button contacts.

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$4.95 EACH

Jolly Barry

Why does Roger always get the credit for the skull and crossbones pirate flag? We feel it is time to share and have elected Barry to the post because he just walked by the vast editorial department here at A.S.&S. (AKA "my desk") Our Jolly Barry flag is 3ft x 5 ft., black polyester with a reinforced edge containing grommets for flying. It has the traditional skull and crossbones in white with the added fillip that the skull is wearing an eye patch! Sail Away!!

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SKULL AND CROSSBONES PIRATE FLAG

Jolly Barry

Why does Roger always get the credit for the skull and crossbones pirate flag? We feel it is time to share and have elected Barry to the post because he just walked by the vast editorial department here at A.S.&S. (AKA "my desk") Our Jolly Barry flag is 3ft x 5 ft., black polyester with a reinforced edge containing grommets for flying. It has the traditional skull and crossbones in white with the added fillip that the skull is wearing an eye patch! Sail Away!!

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$4.50 EACH

Tootin' Our Laser

We don't like to brag, but it's tough not to in a case like this. This is a wonderful pen-shaped laser pointer, 5-1/4" long, flat black or silver with gold pocket clip and head. It throws a red point a loong way (we've thrown it two city blocks at night, and it would've gone farther, but buildings got in the way). And what are we so proud of? We've seen a very similar item-not identical, mind you, but essentially the same-in one of those glossy, toys-for-grown-men catalogs. Their price? $20! We're proud not to be profit-mongers, buy it here and you can take pride in your smart shopping habits. Case and (2) AAA Batteries are not included.

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5-1/4" LONG POCKET RED LASER POINTER

Tootin' Our Laser

We don't like to brag, but it's tough not to in a case like this. This is a wonderful pen-shaped laser pointer, 5-1/4" long, flat black or silver with gold pocket clip and head. It throws a red point a loong way (we've thrown it two city blocks at night, and it would've gone farther, but buildings got in the way). And what are we so proud of? We've seen a very similar item-not identical, mind you, but essentially the same-in one of those glossy, toys-for-grown-men catalogs. Their price? $20! We're proud not to be profit-mongers, buy it here and you can take pride in your smart shopping habits. Case and (2) AAA Batteries are not included.

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$9.95 EACH

Bargain Light Show

Bring back the '70s for nine bucks. Screw this red-green-blue LED prismatic, rotating bulb into any standard medium-base light socket and your room turns into disco heaven. Bulb will stand about 5" above or below the socket. Draws approx 6W. CJ recommends any Donna Summer album for use with it. Please note that the remote depicted on the packaging is not included.

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LED DISCO LIGHTBULB

Bargain Light Show

Bring back the '70s for nine bucks. Screw this red-green-blue LED prismatic, rotating bulb into any standard medium-base light socket and your room turns into disco heaven. Bulb will stand about 5" above or below the socket. Draws approx 6W. CJ recommends any Donna Summer album for use with it. Please note that the remote depicted on the packaging is not included.

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$8.95 EACH

Ginormous Gem

Bigger than a baseball across the top, this is one ginormous jewel. You pick a clear or deep-translucent-blue, 24% lead crystal, cut-glass gem. It’s 3-1/8” dia at the top, tapering to point 2-1/8” deep. Could be mounted in a stunning, but really, really, really big engagement ring.

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BLUE CRYSTAL GEM

Ginormous Gem

Bigger than a baseball across the top, this is one ginormous jewel. You pick a clear or deep-translucent-blue, 24% lead crystal, cut-glass gem. It’s 3-1/8” dia at the top, tapering to point 2-1/8” deep. Could be mounted in a stunning, but really, really, really big engagement ring.

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Drinking Bird

You're buying the drinks and this wacky, yet debonair, bird with a top hat and plastic base (7" tall OA) can't get his fill of water. Get him started, and he dips his beak into your glass repeatedly. How? Fluid inside his glass body condenses from the evaporative cooling of the water off the bird's beak, making it top heavy and dunking it back into the water. The condensate rejoins the liquid pool in the bird's bulb, and he tips up again. Process continues indefinitely. It works, but it's not any more than moderately well made, and not any more than moderately priced. WARNING! The fluid and dye inside the bird can permanently stain, and the bird's glass body can easily be broken. Children are fascinated by the bobbing bird, and the educational possibilities are great. But they should watch him, not fondle him!! Manufacturer warning states this item is not intended for children 8 and under.

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CLASSIC DRINKING BIRD

Drinking Bird

You're buying the drinks and this wacky, yet debonair, bird with a top hat and plastic base (7" tall OA) can't get his fill of water. Get him started, and he dips his beak into your glass repeatedly. How? Fluid inside his glass body condenses from the evaporative cooling of the water off the bird's beak, making it top heavy and dunking it back into the water. The condensate rejoins the liquid pool in the bird's bulb, and he tips up again. Process continues indefinitely. It works, but it's not any more than moderately well made, and not any more than moderately priced. WARNING! The fluid and dye inside the bird can permanently stain, and the bird's glass body can easily be broken. Children are fascinated by the bobbing bird, and the educational possibilities are great. But they should watch him, not fondle him!! Manufacturer warning states this item is not intended for children 8 and under.

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Dancing Colors Rainbow Maker

Hang this holographic prism in the window for delicate, changing color effects. As the sun shines through, it throws splashes of red, yellow, green, blue, violet and more around the room. The glass disc is 4-1/8" dia x 1/4" thick with a chrome-look frame. Comes with a suction cup hanger to mount it on a window. (Find a way to make it rotate for an especially cool effect!)

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SUNCATCHER WINDOW RAINBOW MAKER

Dancing Colors Rainbow Maker

Hang this holographic prism in the window for delicate, changing color effects. As the sun shines through, it throws splashes of red, yellow, green, blue, violet and more around the room. The glass disc is 4-1/8" dia x 1/4" thick with a chrome-look frame. Comes with a suction cup hanger to mount it on a window. (Find a way to make it rotate for an especially cool effect!)

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$19.50 EACH

THUMBNAIL FLASHLIGHTS

Hook these on the zipper pulls on your jackets and you'll never be in the dark again. Tiny LED lights measure 1" x 9/16" in a 5/16" thick oblong, and come on a 7/8" long lanyard clip. We'll pick some that will go with your eyes, in blue, green, black or red. Include little button cell batteries that can be replaced if you're the sort of person who does that.

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ZIPPER PULL LED FLASHLIGHT

THUMBNAIL FLASHLIGHTS

Hook these on the zipper pulls on your jackets and you'll never be in the dark again. Tiny LED lights measure 1" x 9/16" in a 5/16" thick oblong, and come on a 7/8" long lanyard clip. We'll pick some that will go with your eyes, in blue, green, black or red. Include little button cell batteries that can be replaced if you're the sort of person who does that.

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$3.90 PKG (3)

Front!

Time was, these service bells were on every teacher's desk and the front desk of every hotel in the world. They're still a classically beautiful design, and they'll still bring folks running when you tap the little plunger on top. The shiny matte chrome bell sits on an enameled steel base and the whole thing is 3-1/8" dia x 2-1/4" tall.

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DESK BELL

Front!

Time was, these service bells were on every teacher's desk and the front desk of every hotel in the world. They're still a classically beautiful design, and they'll still bring folks running when you tap the little plunger on top. The shiny matte chrome bell sits on an enameled steel base and the whole thing is 3-1/8" dia x 2-1/4" tall.

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$6.00 EACH

Perpetual Motion

Spin this spindle and watch it turn in perpetuity!!  Well, for a long time anyway.  Inside the 5-1/2" long colored plastic spindle are magnets which are repelled by magnets in the 5" x 3" black plastic base.  The variously colored spindle floats in the air above the base thus virtually free of normal friction. Nifty desk toy named "Revolution".

Please note #91664 with flashing red lights was incorrectly advertised, that item is not available. 

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MAGNETIC LEVITATION, SPINNING DESK TOY

Perpetual Motion

Spin this spindle and watch it turn in perpetuity!!  Well, for a long time anyway.  Inside the 5-1/2" long colored plastic spindle are magnets which are repelled by magnets in the 5" x 3" black plastic base.  The variously colored spindle floats in the air above the base thus virtually free of normal friction. Nifty desk toy named "Revolution".

Please note #91664 with flashing red lights was incorrectly advertised, that item is not available. 

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$11.85 EACH

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