It’s the Forever Belt of late night fame, the no-holes ratcheting cinch for your expanding waist. Features a 32-position gear rack on the underside in 1/4” increments in lieu of holes. In 1-1/8” wide black leatherette, it can be cut to length and will fit waists from 22” to 44”.

One of our all-time favorite items, back in neon colors. These surprisingly sturdy fly-swatters have plastic grip-handles, mesh heads and extendability. Measure 10-1/4” long when compressed, but pull the 4-draw handle and they extend to a fly-smacking 28”. Yours will be bright yellow, lime green, fuchsia or orange, but they’re all attractive, and the flies won’t care.

In flexible copper, 6-5/8" x 7/16" x 1/16" with 3/16" dia magnets on the ends, this bracelet is flexible enough to fit all wrists. Might be good for you, might just look good. Front of the package says the combo has been believed to relieve arthritis and rheumatism since Roman times but the back says it’s definitely not a medical device. F. Scott Fitzgerald said “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time.” He probably would have bought some of these bracelets.

Life, and needle-threading, is hard enough, so this little tailor's friend has a 3/32" loop with a white LED below it so you can see what you’re doing. Includes a pair of button-cell batteries and the threader has a cover plus a little hook so you can string it on something and find it in your sewing box.

For when you just can't drag yours around anymore? No, for out-of-sight cigarette butt and ash disposal. This mini-bucket, sans handle, is a 3-1/4" dia x 3-7/8" tall black-composition ashtray that can sit on a desk or table, or fit neatly into a car's cup holder. Its removable lid has (3) slots to hold lit cigarettes and a small, cigarette-diameter hole so the butts slide out of sight and go out for lack of oxygen. Cuts down ambient dead-butt odors, too.

So why can't you ever find one? Put a stop to that with this clear plastic storage box with (100) steel safety pins: (50) at 1-1/8"; (25) at 1-1/4"; and (25) at 1-1/2". Your grandmother would be proud of you.

You can do both with this non-functioning, fake electrical outlet that’s actually a small safe. Looks like an ordinary off-white outlet, but has a 7" x 2" x 2-1/4" cavity in back. Swap out a real outlet, or use the teensy drywall saw that’s included and make a new bogus one anywhere you like. This one even takes plugs for further verisimilitude. We suggest putting a burnt-out bulb in the lamp you plug into this outlet to fool the smarter burglars. Always work at least one step ahead.

These official Circus Circus® Hotel/Casino painters' hats are in neon pink and white with the logo on the front and the Circus Circus seal on top, complete with the clown above the elephant and lion rampant. Guaranteed to look stunning with any outfit, casual or formal. (The more formal the outfit, the more stunned they'll be!) Adjustable headband to fit all noggins.

Faux leopard-skin, among others. And from faux animals in a wide variety of non-animal colors, like green and fuchsia. Perfect for the senorita flirting at a post-modern bullfight, these accordion-style folding fans have plastic frames that hold accordioned cloth with a top edge of black lace because they’re for flirting, remember? Measure approx 9” long and open to 13”. We’ll pick the colors because we have really good taste.

Actually no, but you know what adhesive tape is, don’t you? You’ll get (2) rolls of it here, waterproof white cloth medical tape, 2” wide x .011” thick on 10-yard rolls. Made in the USA, to bandage American owies.

Don't look back in anger, give everybody a mirror and let them look for themselves. You get a pack of (10) 2 1/2" x 1-7/8" hand mirrors in really thin little white plastic snap-shut cases. Front says "Check your Smile--Colgate" but at these prices, so what?

Don't look back in anger, give everybody a mirror and let them look for themselves. You get a pack of (10) 2 1/2" x 1-7/8" hand mirrors in really thin little white plastic snap-shut cases. Front says "Check your Smile--Colgate" but at these prices, so what?

We bought these because pandas are such messy eaters. Sorry. We bought these because you love the Kung Fu Panda aesthetic and your dinner service would look marvelous laid out on these placemats, which measure 17" x 11". You'll get (10) mats, at least (2) different kinds, from a selection of (4) Kung Fu Panda illustrations and (1) rogue The Penguins of Madagascar illustration because who could eat with pandas every night?

Keep them safe. For storing hard and soft lenses, this Color-Mate® case was made for one of your larger national drugstore chains, but we've got it now. In assorted colors, from which we'll pick, it's approx 2-3/8" long and marked L and R.

Drinkgrabs. Beerbandits. Whatever you’re imbibing, they’ve stolen your old fashioned for the last time. These dry-erase acrylic coasters let you identify your cocktail in a room full of negroninappers. Measure approx 4” square x 3/16” thick. You pick the Voice Bubble or Name Tag version, and we’ll pick a pair for you in a fetching color combo. Our each is (2) coasters. They’ll come with a little dry-erase marker that will probably be dried out, but if you shop here you’ve already got markers.

This 2” dia x approx 3/4” thick disc holds a retractable 1/4" wide, 60” long vinyl tape measure inside. Marked in 1/16” increments, it has 150mm, in 1mm increments, on the other. Has stop clicks and push-button rewind, and is on a 1” chain with a very cute 1-1/2” carabiner for attaching it to a key chain. In white and translucent neon colors, which we’ll select for you because in your busy life who has the time?

That’d be tough to heal, but easier if you had this box of (24) rolls of 1/2” wide x 10 yards of latex-free, transparent surgical tape. (We did the math.) From Select® Medical Products.

Acupressure slippers, spring-loaded. The (32) little round springy magnetic massage buttons on the insole depress and twist when you walk. Every one of them is marked with the organ it will apply to, including heart, kidneys, lungs, pancreas, colon and sundry parts we don’t like to list in a family catalog. Include a big hook-and-loop strap and a lot of suggestions. Box says they're a size large, which is roughly 11" long. Ignore the surplus-generating “Acupuncture…slipper” on the box--these will not stick needles in your sole. Try the medium size here. Click