Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

From THINKIQ, these fist sized colorful wooden puzzles will let you prove it; Or not. We'll pick one of the (6) available puzzles. Take a good look before you take yours apart, because there are no instructions—it's just you and your spatial IQ. No extra charge for the extra challenge—you’re welcome. About the size of a kids fist. 

Emergency underpants in a can. Says it all, doesn't it? Quite stretchable in a Tyvekish white fabric, "one pair fits most adults." They're hip-hugger, semi-bikini, translucent type drawers, so despite the smiling man wearing them and a red bow-tie on the can, some (insecure) guys might find these just a touch jeune fille-ish. "Safe, Sanitary, Secure." Says so right on the 3" x 1-1/2" x 2/3" flip-top metal can. Better buy (3) in case of a long weekend.

Lots of people had piano keyboard neckties in the '80s, but no one could play them--not even the piano players! That's because they weren't actual musical instruments. Can you imagine a time like that? Thankfully, those days are long gone. Our piano tie is a working keyboard with (8) different electronic notes that you can play through the tiny speaker hidden in the knot. Polyester and 16-1/2" long, the tie has a quick-release for easy attachment and removal. Also has an on-off switch, for when you decide you're done playing for the night. Runs on button cell batteries (included). Lessons not included, but trust us, you don't need lessons for this thing to kill at parties. Great addition to dad's neck tie collection.

You work hard, just like we do, and you also like to relax—again, like us. Of course you know that sometimes bending over, or even reaching for something, is just not in the cards. In times like those we grab the dinosaur grabber. This plastic, handheld extending grabber has a triceratops head on the end. Squeeze the handle and the mouth closes as the neck extends. Measures 3" x 10" closed, 3" x 12" extended, and it’s kind of addictive.

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

It's an author! It's an NPR correspondent! It's Nancy Pearl, the librarian with the super-power to start the “One City, One Book” program. She fights a never-ending battle against censorship, anti-intellectualism and ignorance. We don't know how tall the real Nancy is, but her action figure is a petite 4” tall, and she’s wearing a red cape. Packaging includes the Librarian Code.

Very Mad Men-ish, these fuzzy stick-on mustaches, with models on the package so you can see exactly how you'd have looked in 1963. You get (7) 'staches, including the Hollywood, Hero, Bruiser and Weasel in black, the Square and Sheriff in brown, and the gray, handlebar Grampa. Great disguises. Great costumes.

It’s just like the little bell that used to sit on the front desk of every hotel in the world except that this one has a big 1-1/4” dia button on it, because who can see that tiny button anymore? Use it to call whoever brings you another beer on game days, or to announce quitting time at the home office—or get a bunch to use in your home trivia games. Measures 2” tall x 2” dia in polished steel with a big plastic button on top and a plastic bottom that won't scratch tables. We'll pick one in white, blue or black plastic because we’re good at that sort of ding, uh, thing.

Yes, TV watchers, Flo, the Progressive Insurance Spokesgeek who's become America's heartthrob is now a model—a model kit, that is—with her own little speedboat that’s made, like Flo, of plastic building bricks. This (19)-piece kit lets you put Flo and her boat back together again. And yes, our little model has that interesting hairdo, and sunglasses, too. Includes decals.