Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

More fun than a canned ham, this flip-top storage tin has a train set inside, with a plastic steam engine, tender, boxcar and caboose, as well as a 12-piece track that forms a 10" x 22" oval. You add a "AA" battery and you're the engineer. 

And more. This accessory kit for smart phones (works with iPhone, Samsung, HTC, iPad, tablets and many others) has a 2” long clip-on bracket with screw-in macro, wide-angle and fish-eye lenses. Paul loves his kit and he’s our optics expert. Use the macro for insects, coins and diamonds. Fish-eye and wide-angle for great visual effects. Includes a little pouch to carry it all in, and tiny lens caps.

Note: Two lenses come threaded together to conserve space. 

And we say that with a history of silly that’s virtually unmatched. You slip on this pair of lens-less glasses with the tiny bucket and ball on a string attached, and try, while looking like a demented chipmunk, to swing the little ball on its cord and drop it into the cup. In red and blue plastic, you will be filmed on a smart phone, it will be put on social media, and you will be famous for it for the rest of your life. Best to order a couple so you’re not alone.

Forget that the 6-3/4" long body is festooned with Latin phrases and old maps. The stones/beads/glass inside the tube would make designing windows in cathedrals a snap. And hey, that's good work if you can get it. A nice gift for Rosetta window fans, and a must for that special bishop in your life.

There's optical science and high school physics, and then there's making pretty colors with this little 4-1/2" x about 1" acrylic prism. It makes the same rainbows that the beveled edges on the glass in the French doors to your grandmother's living room used to make on the floor in the afternoon while she was making supper. If you had a grandmother with French doors with beveled glass, who made you supper. If not, you'd better buy this prism or you won't have anything to remember after she's gone.

Spin the ribbed 7" handle of this hand-powered prop between your palms, and watch it take off. (If it lands instead of flying off into the wild blue yonder, reverse the spin!) Neon handle, bright, metallic-flaked 8" propeller, and a lift so high we imprinted it with our logo - the airborne Jarvis. It's all plastic, and won't decapitate anyone, but it's still for 10-year-olds and up.

No, it doesn't; it runs out. See for yourself with this hourglass full of iron filings. The steel base has a magnet, so time flies when the glass is on it, and the filings make pretty stalagmites. Stick a magnet on the neck, however, and you can stop time altogether. Glass is 5-1/2" tall on the base and filings run out in about 40 seconds (three trips make a two-minute egg) with the magnet, somewhat longer without it.

Don’t you like having a thousand of something? Yeah, same here. We recommend this bag of 1,000 (we did the math, that's only 2.4 cents per marble) glass cat’s eye marbles in a rainbow of colors. Called Peewees in the marble world, they’re 12mm dia, which is 0.47”, which is like a really big pea, or a really small garbanzo bean. Play mini-marbles, or make clay cats and use the marbles for eyes, or just keep them in a big bowl for their prettiness factor.

Our each is tub of glitter putty, born at the confluence of silly putty and Ziggy Stardust, with (3) distinct layers of glittery gloop, which Paul, our VP for Gloop Nomenclatura, assures us are heliotrope, apple green and public swimming pool blue. Also smells like Dippity Do, but don’t put it in your hair. You’ll get 4-1/2 ounces, which is more than your mother would like you to have.

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

Because no home is complete without a furry, radio-controlled spider as big as your head. In authentic black and brown fur, this GIANT RC tarantula is approx 10” wide x 9” long (6" long body) and will move left/right/backward/forward and randomly, not unlike the real thing. Has blue LEDs for eyes, which is an improvement on nature. You add a 9V for the remote and (4) “AA” batteries for the arachnid.

Naked squirrels always trouble us. For your instagrammatic pleasure, this 7-3/4" tall laminated squirrel cut-out stands on a folding easel and comes with (39) assorted, reusable vinyl clothing stickers, including tighty whities, pearls, a propeller beanie, sneakers, an argyle sweater and a whole bunch of holiday costumes. Easter bunny with a chain saw, anyone?

Maybe. Could also be a stegosaurus, triceratops or something else--that’s part of the fun of paleontological parenthood. Just submerge the 4-1/2” tall ersatz dinosaur egg into cool water and wait 48-72 hours while it cracks like a real egg and the baby dino grows to a be a foot long. If your mother won’t let you skip your bath for a few days (they’re like that, mothers, no scientific discipline), just use any container bigger than a 12” dinosaur.

Bigger than a baseball across the top, this is one ginormous jewel. You pick a clear or deep-translucent-blue, 24% lead crystal, cut-glass gem. It’s 3-1/8” dia at the top, tapering to point 2-1/8” deep. Could be mounted in a stunning, but really, really, really big engagement ring.

Ten furlongs are condensed to (7) inches, with very small horses, in the Desktop Derby, a 6-horse straight track that lets you win money while you teach the children the evils of pari-mutuel betting. The electric track pulsates and moves the nags along at a pace of about 45 seconds per race, with heart-stopping lead changes. The best part is that they're un-handicapable: a different horse, in a different lane, seems to win every time. Measures 9-7/8" x 3-1/2" x 2" high and runs off (2) "AA" batteries, included. (Stable the horses in the base between races.)

Spin this spindle and watch it turn in perpetuity!!  Well, for a long time anyway.  Inside the 5-1/2" long colored plastic spindle are magnets which are repelled by magnets in the 5" x 3" black plastic base.  The variously colored spindle floats in the air above the base thus virtually free of normal friction. Nifty desk toy named "Revolution".

Please note #91664 with flashing red lights was incorrectly advertised, that item is not available. 

Time was, you wanted answers to questions, you had to have a magic 8-ball, but really, what would an 8-ball know? What you need is the All-Seeing Eye, because eyes see stuff. Eyes know stuff. This big eye is 3-7/8" dia with a window on the bottom that reveals the answers to your questions--like the 8-ball, except the eye is pretty much always right. This eye, BTW, is blue, like Sinatra’s. (Best get two, because eyes come in pairs.)