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NOVELTIES & MISC TOYS

Play The Piston Flute

Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

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SLIDE WHISTLE

Play The Piston Flute

Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

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$3.75 EACH

Feeling A Little Cranky?

Here's a little music box to crank. These are really cute, with a very nice sound, and they're in clear acrylic cases so you, or impressionable youngsters, can watch them work. They measure 2-1/4"x 2" x 1-1/4" with a 7/8" crank. We'll pick one that plays When You Wish upon a Star, Row, Row, Row your Boat, Brahms' Lullaby, or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. We won't pick the one that plays the score from Die Walküre because the wheel is just enormous.

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ASSORTED HAND CRANK MUSIC BOX MOVEMENTS

Feeling A Little Cranky?

Here's a little music box to crank. These are really cute, with a very nice sound, and they're in clear acrylic cases so you, or impressionable youngsters, can watch them work. They measure 2-1/4"x 2" x 1-1/4" with a 7/8" crank. We'll pick one that plays When You Wish upon a Star, Row, Row, Row your Boat, Brahms' Lullaby, or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. We won't pick the one that plays the score from Die Walküre because the wheel is just enormous.

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$5.95 EACH

Yes And No

No maybes. Our each is a set of matching “YES” and “NO” buttons, a little over 3" in dia, like on quiz shows. When smacked, they recite one of (10) variations on the theme, as in “No, no, no, no” or “Yes, baby.” or “For the last time, NO.” Perfect for arbitrary decision-making at work and excellent for responding to requests from teens. You add a couple of “AAA” batteries and the buttons do the rest.

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TALKING YES-NO BUTTONS

Yes And No

No maybes. Our each is a set of matching “YES” and “NO” buttons, a little over 3" in dia, like on quiz shows. When smacked, they recite one of (10) variations on the theme, as in “No, no, no, no” or “Yes, baby.” or “For the last time, NO.” Perfect for arbitrary decision-making at work and excellent for responding to requests from teens. You add a couple of “AAA” batteries and the buttons do the rest.

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$9.75 EACH

Soprano in C

Special for your beginner tootler. Our black (ABS plastic) soprano recorder measures 12-5/8" long and includes a plastic carrying case, cleaning rod, and a sheet of fingering instructions.

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RECORDER FLUTE

Soprano in C

Special for your beginner tootler. Our black (ABS plastic) soprano recorder measures 12-5/8" long and includes a plastic carrying case, cleaning rod, and a sheet of fingering instructions.

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$3.75 EACH

Rattlesnake Egg Magnets

Or singing suppositories. The pair is very magnetic, whatever they are. The 1-3/4" long prolate spheroids look like highly polished black hematites. Hold them an inch apart in your palm, toss 'em into the air and listen to them make a sound like the cyber-crickets. Or an electrocuted chicken. The manufacturer suggests keeping these mega-magnets away from computers, pacemakers, TV sets and credit cards.

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MAGNETIC RATTLESNAKE EGG

Rattlesnake Egg Magnets

Or singing suppositories. The pair is very magnetic, whatever they are. The 1-3/4" long prolate spheroids look like highly polished black hematites. Hold them an inch apart in your palm, toss 'em into the air and listen to them make a sound like the cyber-crickets. Or an electrocuted chicken. The manufacturer suggests keeping these mega-magnets away from computers, pacemakers, TV sets and credit cards.

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$1.95 EACH

Not Your Grandmother's Postcards

This whimsical pack of (30) postcards measures, unsurprisingly, post-card size 5-3/4" x 3-15/16", with non-duplicating images of gravy and bacon, Nikola Tesla, narwhals, spontaneous human combustion, boxing kangaroos, infinity and taxidermy, among many others of that ilk. Those ilks. Whatever--just buy 'em and stop asking so many questions. Blurbs on the back.

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SCIENCE AND WHIMSICAL POSTCARDS

Not Your Grandmother's Postcards

This whimsical pack of (30) postcards measures, unsurprisingly, post-card size 5-3/4" x 3-15/16", with non-duplicating images of gravy and bacon, Nikola Tesla, narwhals, spontaneous human combustion, boxing kangaroos, infinity and taxidermy, among many others of that ilk. Those ilks. Whatever--just buy 'em and stop asking so many questions. Blurbs on the back.

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$8.85 EACH

Back To Basics

It could have been called an Alabama Buzzer after Alabama Vest, the man who invented it. Or a Clegghorn, after Thaddeus Von Clegg, the clock master who fabricated the first one. But the hand-crafted 4-3/4" long steel instrument was a simple amusement, and the 1840s were a simple time. So it's simply a kazoo.

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ORIGINAL STYLE METAL KAZOO

Back To Basics

It could have been called an Alabama Buzzer after Alabama Vest, the man who invented it. Or a Clegghorn, after Thaddeus Von Clegg, the clock master who fabricated the first one. But the hand-crafted 4-3/4" long steel instrument was a simple amusement, and the 1840s were a simple time. So it's simply a kazoo.

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$2.95 EACH

Coin-Snatching Kitty

Stick a coin on top of the fishy plate on this plastic coin bank and it triggers a Hiya Kitty inside to mew some cat noises, then peeks out and reaches out a paw to snatch the coin. The box, which is mysteriously made to look like a fruit crate, measures 4-3/4" x 4" x 3-1/2". You’ll need to add a couple of “AA” batteries but that’s the standard price of kitten cuteness today.

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BATTERY OPERATED KITTY COIN BANK

Coin-Snatching Kitty

Stick a coin on top of the fishy plate on this plastic coin bank and it triggers a Hiya Kitty inside to mew some cat noises, then peeks out and reaches out a paw to snatch the coin. The box, which is mysteriously made to look like a fruit crate, measures 4-3/4" x 4" x 3-1/2". You’ll need to add a couple of “AA” batteries but that’s the standard price of kitten cuteness today.

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$13.65 EACH

Underpants In A Can!

Emergency underpants in a can. Says it all, doesn't it? Quite stretchable in a Tyvekish white fabric, "one pair fits most adults." They're hip-hugger, semi-bikini, translucent type drawers, so despite the smiling man wearing them and a red bow-tie on the can, some (insecure) guys might find these just a touch jeune fille-ish. "Safe, Sanitary, Secure." Says so right on the 3" x 1-1/2" x 2/3" flip-top metal can. Better buy (3) in case of a long weekend.

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CANNED EMERGENCY 1-SIZE UNDERPANTS

Underpants In A Can!

Emergency underpants in a can. Says it all, doesn't it? Quite stretchable in a Tyvekish white fabric, "one pair fits most adults." They're hip-hugger, semi-bikini, translucent type drawers, so despite the smiling man wearing them and a red bow-tie on the can, some (insecure) guys might find these just a touch jeune fille-ish. "Safe, Sanitary, Secure." Says so right on the 3" x 1-1/2" x 2/3" flip-top metal can. Better buy (3) in case of a long weekend.

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$4.95 EACH

You Kazoo?

Us too, but then who doesn’t kazoo? These 5" long classic steel kazoos have 1-1/8” resonators, and come in (16) festive patterns. We’ll pick one because, really, who do you know who’s more festive than we are.

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ASSORTED-COLOR KAZOOS

You Kazoo?

Us too, but then who doesn’t kazoo? These 5" long classic steel kazoos have 1-1/8” resonators, and come in (16) festive patterns. We’ll pick one because, really, who do you know who’s more festive than we are.

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$2.65 EACH

Makin' Whoopee...

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

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WHOOPEE CUSHION

Makin' Whoopee...

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

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$2.50 EACH

Double The Whoopee

We’re proud as can be to offer the world’s largest whoopee cushion--twice as big as the original for a nation whose bottom line has doubled since the original cushion was invented nearly 100 years ago. We call that progress. Your cushion, at approx a foot in diameter, will arrive folded in half. If your whoopie cushion has to be folded in half to be shipped, you know it’s big. And yes, the whoop is twice as loud, too.

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EXTRA LARGE RUBBER WHOOPIE CUSHION

Double The Whoopee

We’re proud as can be to offer the world’s largest whoopee cushion--twice as big as the original for a nation whose bottom line has doubled since the original cushion was invented nearly 100 years ago. We call that progress. Your cushion, at approx a foot in diameter, will arrive folded in half. If your whoopie cushion has to be folded in half to be shipped, you know it’s big. And yes, the whoop is twice as loud, too.

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$6.25 EACH

Flexi-Sphere

Interesting wire contraption that we played with as a child. A series of (4) tiers of overlapping and intertwined brass wire semicircular hoops are anchored at the open end to a pair of full circles. The whole can be shaped into a tube, double balls, a flower petal, etc, depending upon what areas are opened, which closed. A variety of colored beads on the hoops add a decorative touch. Fun, intriguing and decorative all at the same time.

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FLEXI-SPHERE DESK TOY

Flexi-Sphere

Interesting wire contraption that we played with as a child. A series of (4) tiers of overlapping and intertwined brass wire semicircular hoops are anchored at the open end to a pair of full circles. The whole can be shaped into a tube, double balls, a flower petal, etc, depending upon what areas are opened, which closed. A variety of colored beads on the hoops add a decorative touch. Fun, intriguing and decorative all at the same time.

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$4.95 EACH

Rebel Without A Utensil

You never know when you might find yourself in a ramen noodle gang fight. This switchblade spork is 6-1/2" long and snaps open to 11". Has a pushbutton trigger switch and a sliding safety so you don't spork yourself by mistake. If Russ Tamblyn had had one of these, he might still be a Jet.

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SWITCHBLADE SPORK

Rebel Without A Utensil

You never know when you might find yourself in a ramen noodle gang fight. This switchblade spork is 6-1/2" long and snaps open to 11". Has a pushbutton trigger switch and a sliding safety so you don't spork yourself by mistake. If Russ Tamblyn had had one of these, he might still be a Jet.

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$7.75 EACH

The Eyes Have It

Time was, you wanted answers to questions, you had to have a magic 8-ball, but really, what would an 8-ball know? What you need is the All-Seeing Eye, because eyes see stuff. Eyes know stuff. This big eye is 3-7/8" dia with a window on the bottom that reveals the answers to your questions--like the 8-ball, except the eye is pretty much always right. This eye, BTW, is blue, like Sinatra’s. (Best get two, because eyes come in pairs.)

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ALL-SEEING EYE FORTUNE TELLING GAME

The Eyes Have It

Time was, you wanted answers to questions, you had to have a magic 8-ball, but really, what would an 8-ball know? What you need is the All-Seeing Eye, because eyes see stuff. Eyes know stuff. This big eye is 3-7/8" dia with a window on the bottom that reveals the answers to your questions--like the 8-ball, except the eye is pretty much always right. This eye, BTW, is blue, like Sinatra’s. (Best get two, because eyes come in pairs.)

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$7.95 EACH

Mustachio Madness

Very Mad Men-ish, these fuzzy stick-on mustaches, with models on the package so you can see exactly how you'd have looked in 1963. You get (7) 'staches, including the Hollywood, Hero, Bruiser and Weasel in black, the Square and Sheriff in brown, and the gray, handlebar Grampa. Great disguises. Great costumes.

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MANLY STICK-ON MUSTACHES

Mustachio Madness

Very Mad Men-ish, these fuzzy stick-on mustaches, with models on the package so you can see exactly how you'd have looked in 1963. You get (7) 'staches, including the Hollywood, Hero, Bruiser and Weasel in black, the Square and Sheriff in brown, and the gray, handlebar Grampa. Great disguises. Great costumes.

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$6.75 EACH

Jaw Harp...The Dentist's Friend

Plunk your magic twanger and call yourself froggy. This 3-5/8" long steel jaw harp, or mouth harp, is technically a plucked idiophone, but don't say that in Nashville. Includes playing instructions. Pay no attention to that vibration in your head.

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STEEL JAW HARP

Jaw Harp...The Dentist's Friend

Plunk your magic twanger and call yourself froggy. This 3-5/8" long steel jaw harp, or mouth harp, is technically a plucked idiophone, but don't say that in Nashville. Includes playing instructions. Pay no attention to that vibration in your head.

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$6.95 EACH

Etched In Our Memory

Before there were stations to play at, when gameboys were just boys who played games, when fun was spelled “wheeee,” there was the Etch A Sketch®, the original small-motor-skills trainer. This classic, legendary design device allowed kids to create perfect right-angles in their pursuit of anything from simple boxes to full Frank Lloyd Wright house designs. Advanced sketchers with mad knob skills could even bend those lines. Return with us now to the thrilling days of yesteryear and try it for yourself, or give it to a kid. Measures approx 9" x 7" x 1", and you still just shake it to erase.

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CLASSIC ETCH A SKETCH® GAME

Etched In Our Memory

Before there were stations to play at, when gameboys were just boys who played games, when fun was spelled “wheeee,” there was the Etch A Sketch®, the original small-motor-skills trainer. This classic, legendary design device allowed kids to create perfect right-angles in their pursuit of anything from simple boxes to full Frank Lloyd Wright house designs. Advanced sketchers with mad knob skills could even bend those lines. Return with us now to the thrilling days of yesteryear and try it for yourself, or give it to a kid. Measures approx 9" x 7" x 1", and you still just shake it to erase.

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$19.95 EACH

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