TOY ANIMALS & CREATURES

A bunch of seagulls is a flock, but a bunch of crows is a murder. Hey, we don’t come up with this stuff—blame the ornithologists. If you’re into black crows, and want a murder of them, these rubbery plastic figurines are nicely detailed, and approx 2” x 1” each, in different poses. You’ll get (4) in a handsome 3-1/2” x 2-1/2” x 1-1/2” box with a nest in it. Black crows only—no flocks of seagulls, eagles or yardbirds.

Squeeze this squishy version of the eight-legged tardigrade, aks moss piglet, aka water bear, and it takes up to (9) seconds to slowly morph back into shape while you feel your stress disappear like the cashews in a bowl of mixed nuts. Measures 4-1/2” long in green with the squeezability of a marshmallow. You probably don’t even know you need it, but you’ll know you needed it once you start squeezing it.

This goldenesque rubber chicken can talk! Actually, squawk. Known as the Shrilling Chicken, it’s 11” long, in chicken-skin goldish color, complete with goose bumps, a squish me tag and don't forget the gaping mouth. Squeeze it for hours of humorous, attention-grabbing squawks. Work it into your stand-up routine or sneak it into parties. You’re hilarious!

These gray plastic gargoyles, in creepily authentic detail, are great for cathedral models and graveyard dioramas as long as they’re miniature. Figurines measure about 1” tall. You’ll get (4) of them in an attractive 4” x 3” x 1-1/4” box with a flip-open top and a display window. Great for anyone who wants to add a little goth to a home or office. 

Our cute little plushy bear is white with a black leather-ish aviator jacket and hat, plus black-rimmed goggles. Take away the white scarf and the outfit might also pass for “biker.” Soft and squeezable either way. Each measures approx 6-1/2" x 6" x 4-1/2" in the seated position.

Maybe. Could also be a stegosaurus, triceratops or something else--that’s part of the fun of paleontological parenthood. Just submerge the 4-1/2” tall ersatz dinosaur egg into cool water and wait 48-72 hours while it cracks like a real egg and the baby dino grows to a be a foot long. If your mother won’t let you skip your bath for a few days (they’re like that, mothers, no scientific discipline), just use any container bigger than a 12” dinosaur.

That's what our uncle Ned called his, so don't write in about contradictory terms. This is a particularly nicely detailed domesticated male pig, in pink polyresin with embossed hair and a pleasant, if non-committal, look on his face. Also, anatomically correct. Measures approx 3-1/2” snout to curly tail x 2” tall at the pig withers. What will you do with it? Hey, that’s not for us to say. ! WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD–Small Parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.

From a company with one of our favorite names, Icky Yuckz!, this anatomically correct, stretchy scorpion won’t pinch or sting any kids—no matter how much they tug on it. Made of red or black rubber, it measures about 10-1/2” long and will stretch to more than 3 feet. Easy to stick in a pocket, too. Ages 6+

Are you way ahead of us? Did you guess “Tardigrade Night Light”? If so, you guessed right. Sorry, there’s no prize other than pride. This is a white ceramic tardigrade, aka a “water bear,” and it lights up green to help you get to the bathroom or kitchen in the dark. Measures approx 4” long x 2-1/2” tall x 2” wide. Runs on a button cell battery (included), and if you still don’t know what a tardigrade is, we wonder how we ever became friends in the first place. Please, look them up. Ages 14+.

Who wouldn’t love a green avocado plush toy? Scrooge? Schleprock? Debbie Downer? They’re probably the only three, because the rest of us wouldn’t be able to resist this approx 15” x 10” x 5” two-tone-green avocado half with a beige pit for a face, brown eyes and a very happy red smile. There’s a little brown stem on top, too, and a hanging loop. Way softer than an actual avocado.

You may well have wondered where the boneless chicken breasts in your local supermarket come from. The answer is from boneless chickens. And we have some life sized rubber models of the birds to prove it. Modeled from life, they are shown plucked and as they might appear hanging in the poultry store window. Seeing is believing, at least in Missouri, so get one and look.

When your Faustian rubber duckies want to sell their rubber souls to the devil, this is the Devil Duck they call. In traditional devilish red, with black horns and tail, it measures 4-1/2” long x approx 3-1/2” from waterline to horn tips, and is cute as the dickens.

Behold our version of the gravity-fed sliding woodpecker. Ours is a 1-3/4" standard black woodpecker, not counting his cute red plume, slowly pecking his way down a 16-1/2" tall metal rod. His super-rapid, lifelike pecking action is strangely compelling to adults, and draws belly laughs from toddlers!

Our robotic kingii dragon (Chlamydosaurus kingii, or frilled-neck lizard) is better than a puppy because you don't have clean up after it and it won't chew the furniture. This STEM education kit has (2) motors and digital control via IR sensors to activate LED eyes, motorized mouth and pop-out neck frill, plus "Escape" and "Chase" modes, which make it retreat and follow you using IR sensors, respectively. You'll need (4) "AAA" batteries and some patience, as this kit is delightfully challenging. Finished dragon will be 13-1/2" long x 8-1/4" x 5". For ages 10+.

Penguins on parade. Our each is a set of (6) nesting penguin dolls, matryoshka style, that, when lined up on your mantel, desk or fridge, say Antarctic whimsy lives here. Nest them back together when you're over-whimsied. Daddy penguin is 4-1/2” tall and the baby is 1-3/8” and yes, it's a family—you can tell by their eyebrows. All are wearing the traditional tuxedos with the equally traditional orange beaks and feet. Ages 4+.

No need to wait 70 million years anymore. Satisfy your impatient paleontologists with this DIY fossil-making kit. Comes with (2) bags of air-dry clay, (7) acrylic paint colors, a brush and (3) dinosaur figures. Never too early, or late, to learn about fossils.

It’s a short row, granted, but a row is a row. These are lesser rubber duckies, just like their larger cousins in the bathtub, but at a cute 2” x 2”. Think shower ducks—small enough to tuck in the soap dish. They come in packs of (3) in assorted colors, and we’ll pick so you don’t have to.

Introducing Mothman, the mysterious and hairy winged creature purported to appear in West Virginia skies before tragic events occur. He's described by genuine eyewitnesses as man-sized with glowing red eyes and feathery antennae. Our version is in hard black rubber with red eyes. He stands 5” tall, and would have an 11” wingspan if he could spread his wings, which he can't. (He's sort of in pouncing mode, ready to land on you or your unsuspecting lambswool sweater.) Be the only house on your block with a Mothman, and regale your guests with the legend.