From X-Acto®, the folks who make the precision arts & craft knives, the "Bulldog" is an old-school crank pencil sharpener with a translucent blue, bright magenta, green or red case so you can keep tabs on your shavings and watch the menacing teeth grind away. Unit is roughly 5" tall x 4" wide (including crank handle) x 3” deep. The square rubber pad on the bottom provides suction when the side lever is pulled. Works best on a flat surface, but you knew that.

Staple with space-saving style, Surpies! From Swingline®, this Fashion Mini Stapler measures a cute 2-1/2” x 1-1/2” x 1”. It’s a little black beauty. It’s the little black dress of staplers. It’s a design wonder! Includes (100) standard-size staples to get you started. You already have the paper that needs stapling.

These miniature versions of the traditional floor fan say "Retro Mini Fan" on them, and the retro part is that the blades and cages are all metal. The handy part is that they're just 5-3/8" dia and the plug is a USB, ready to cool you off right from your (actual) desktop. Tilts 180° up and down and comes with a 4-foot cord. Super quiet, too. We'll pick one in red, blue or black.

Tired of feeling like a floormat? Ready to take the world by storm, broaden your horizons? This desktop mat/blotter, which features a gray-scale map of the world, could be the perfect transition. Measures 15-1/2" x 36", big enough to hold a keyboard and mouse, and to protect the business part of your desk. Has a rubber, grippy bottom and a smooth foam-like top similar to a mousepad’s. The map has countries in soothing shades of gray on a black background, and for once Greenland doesn’t look like it might swallow the rest of the globe.

It’s time to get rid of your old abacus. Why? Just bacus. Also bacus this scientific calculator by Ativa™ is much easier to use with its (2)-line display and (10)-digit with (2)-exponent capability. Has (451) functions, including algebra, trigonometry and statistics, and it’s dual-powered (battery and solar)—and of course the battery’s included. Measures 6-1/4” x 3”. Even if you’re not doing math-whiz stuff, keep one on hand for household bills and budgets—a minor investment for such a useful gadget.

Jarvis Says: The (1) AG13 Battery might be dead so we will include (2) more as replacements. You supply the screwdriver.

They’re going to steal this in a heartbeat, so lock it in your desk. The PaperPro is the first engineering breakthrough in staplers since, well, the stapler. Push it with one finger’s worth of effort and a spring-loaded mechanism (like a center punch) drives the staple with 30 lbs of force through up to (20) sheets of paper. Doesn’t even feel like it stapled, but it’s foolproof. Use as a hand-held or desk stapler. Opens for use as a staple gun, and with as much power. Takes standard 26/6 staples. Measures 7” long x 3-7/8” x 1-1/2” wide, in sleek and elegant black.

Build yourself a desktop dumpster. Punch out the press-fit fibreboard pieces and assemble this authentic mini-dumpster complete with graffiti. Has a two-piece hinged lid and (3) internal sections; (2) for pens, pencils and paper clips, and the third to hold more than (100) orange and yellow flame-shaped note cards to represent the dumpster fire some days at the office are. Measures 4-1/4" x 3" x 4-1/4” to 2-3/8” deep slanting back to front. Emma, the AS&S Dumpster Inspector, pronounced it “quite sturdy.”

This is our floppiest rubber calculator ever. Measures 5” x 3” in black with semi-cartoony white characters. Does your basic calculator calculating with (20) keys and a 5” x 1-1/5” LCD display. Runs on an included and replaceable button-cell battery. Can be folded in half to put in your shirt pocket.

This plastic clip is 4-1/2" wide in a gibbous moon shape (that's just over half a sphere, bunky) with a disc magnet on the back to hold it to a file cabinet or fridge and a 3-3/4" long dry-erase strip on the front to identify what's in the clip or who it's for or whatever the dickens you want it to say. The clip holds a small marker with an eraser head for your convenience. In assorted pastel colors that we'll pick because we have impeccable taste.