It’s the Forever Belt of late night fame, the no-holes ratcheting cinch for your expanding waist. Features a 32-position gear rack on the underside in 1/4” increments in lieu of holes. In 1-1/8” wide black leatherette, it can be cut to length and will fit waists from 22” to 44”.

One of our all-time favorite items, back in neon colors. These surprisingly sturdy fly-swatters have plastic grip-handles, mesh heads and extendability. Measure 10-1/4” long when compressed, but pull the 4-draw handle and they extend to a fly-smacking 28”. Yours will be bright yellow, lime green, fuchsia or orange, but they’re all attractive, and the flies won’t care.

Life, and needle-threading, is hard enough, so this little tailor's friend has a 3/32" loop with a white LED below it so you can see what you’re doing. Includes a pair of button-cell batteries and the threader has a cover plus a little hook so you can string it on something and find it in your sewing box.

For when you just can't drag yours around anymore? No, for out-of-sight cigarette butt and ash disposal. This mini-bucket, sans handle, is a 3-1/4" dia x 3-7/8" tall black-composition ashtray that can sit on a desk or table, or fit neatly into a car's cup holder. Its removable lid has (3) slots to hold lit cigarettes and a small, cigarette-diameter hole so the butts slide out of sight and go out for lack of oxygen. Cuts down ambient dead-butt odors, too.

This 2” dia x approx 3/4” thick disc holds a retractable 1/4" wide, 60” long vinyl tape measure inside. Marked in 1/16” increments, it has 150mm, in 1mm increments, on the other. Has stop clicks and push-button rewind, and is on a 1” chain with a very cute 1-1/2” carabiner for attaching it to a key chain. In white and translucent neon colors, which we’ll select for you because in your busy life who has the time?

In flexible copper, 6-5/8" x 7/16" x 1/16" with 3/16" dia magnets on the ends, this bracelet is flexible enough to fit all wrists. Might be good for you, might just look good. Front of the package says the combo has been believed to relieve arthritis and rheumatism since Roman times but the back says it’s definitely not a medical device. F. Scott Fitzgerald said “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time.” He probably would have bought some of these bracelets.

You can do both with this non-functioning, fake electrical outlet that’s actually a small safe. Looks like an ordinary off-white outlet, but has a 7" x 2" x 2-1/4" cavity in back. Swap out a real outlet, or use the teensy drywall saw that’s included and make a new bogus one anywhere you like. This one even takes plugs for further verisimilitude. We suggest putting a burnt-out bulb in the lamp you plug into this outlet to fool the smarter burglars. Always work at least one step ahead.

So why can't you ever find one? Put a stop to that with this clear plastic storage box with (100) steel safety pins: (50) at 1-1/8"; (25) at 1-1/4"; and (25) at 1-1/2". Your grandmother would be proud of you.

Actually no, but you know what adhesive tape is, don’t you? You’ll get (2) rolls of it here, waterproof white cloth medical tape, 2” wide x .011” thick on 10-yard rolls. Made in the USA, to bandage American owies.

Faux leopard-skin, among others. And from faux animals in a wide variety of non-animal colors, like green and fuchsia. Perfect for the senorita flirting at a post-modern bullfight, these accordion-style folding fans have plastic frames that hold accordioned cloth with a top edge of black lace because they’re for flirting, remember? Measure approx 9” long and open to 13”. We’ll pick the colors because we have really good taste.