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You a fan of Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia? We thought so. Even folks not on a first-name basis with the characters of the classic ’80s-’90s TV show “The Golden Girls” can appreciate this white ceramic 12-oz mug adorned with line drawings of the girls themselves. Under their faces, “The Golden Girls” is written in pink. We don’t want to call this a collector’s item yet, but you know, give it some time. Limited edition, from Loot Crate™. Hand-wash it, don’t soak it, keep it out of the microwave and this mug might be with you well into your own golden years.

More fun than a canned ham, this flip-top storage tin has a train set inside, with a plastic steam engine, tender, boxcar and caboose, as well as a 12-piece track that forms a 10" x 22" oval. You add a "AA" battery and you're the engineer. 

Pop one of these roughly 1-1/4" dia stones into the toe of a sock, smash it with a hammer, and be the first person ever to see your real-as-Nature-makes-it geode!! Ninety percent of them have the familiar beautiful white crystals inside. Formed by volcanic action, they are found all over the world, but ours are from Mexico. There is no way to tell from the outside if they have crystal centers, but we will send you two just to raise your odds, and we haven't had a dud yet in our stores!! Much much more fun and satisfaction than buying one already cracked.

Cat lovers know litter boxes, but now, through the magic of modern design, we can all pull tissues straight out of a cat’s butt. Don’t act like you’re offended. Our Cat Butt Tissue Dispenser is a 5-1/2” cube (which fits a small cube tissue box) in super-classy golden yellow fuzz-fur with a cat’s head on one end and a raised tail on the other. Ironically, though, it’s you taking care of business every time you pull a tissue from that poop portal. Kitty’s gold and white face has whiskers and surprisingly realistic eyes. Lucky for you, they face forward so you don’t have to look at them while you’re ripping a tissue from that innocent little cat’s butt. The whole thing is 10” long overall, and if you can find brown tissue to hang out the back, we salute you. You think pulling tissues from a cat’s butt is gross? Wipe the boogers and snot off your face and then we’ll talk.

A lovely mini-funnel, made for pouring Dad's special medicine into a hip flask, but just dandy for filling salt and pepper shakers or anything else with a little yap. Stainless steel with a 1-3/8" ID intake mouth and a 5/16" ID outlet. 1-7/8" tall OA.

And it’ll never smell like leftover pork lo mein again. The fridge, that is. We love this 4” tall penguin in the traditional black and white outfit just for the way it looks. But pull off the black silicone top, and fill the hard plastic bottom with baking soda, and the little bugger will deodorize your ice box for no additional charge.

Get a grip on your nail clip. These 3” long nail clippers have finger and thumb loops built into the arms. Called EZ-Grip, they're much easier for anyone to hang onto, period—but they’re also extra-good for anyone with arthritic hands or other grip issues. When you’re done clipping, they fold back down for storage, just like standard clippers do.

Squeeze this squishy version of the eight-legged tardigrade, aks moss piglet, aka water bear, and it takes up to (9) seconds to slowly morph back into shape while you feel your stress disappear like the cashews in a bowl of mixed nuts. Measures 4-1/2” long in green with the squeezability of a marshmallow. You probably don’t even know you need it, but you’ll know you needed it once you start squeezing it.

It’s a ninefer. This 6” long x 1/2” hex ball-point pen has a rubber stylus at the other end, which unscrews to reveal a tiny driver with both small Phillips and regular heads, while the shaft has a little bubble level and (4) rulers: 0-4” x 1/16”; 0-10cm x 1mm; and both 1/200mm and 1/300mm rulers. The ninth part is our name on the side, so you remember where the coolest stuff comes from. Plus it’s in the ruler shade of yellow, with a pocket clip. (Sorry, no laser.) Need more ink? Our refill pack is a set of (2) black and (2) blue cartridges. Just pull out the silver knurled tip of the pen to screw in a new ink cartridge and your Great American Novel will be finished in no time.

Let's cut to the chase here -- buy these the first time you read this, or they're going to be gone! There aren't that many of these flexible chopping mats, and the versatile 15" x 12" x 0.024" thick mats are not only ideal for small kitchens where every inch counts, they're great for any kitchen, and for cookouts, camping and picnics. Our each is a set of (2) of the translucent Euro-look mats that protect countertops from sharp knives and fresh-from-the-oven cookies, and protect food from outdoor surfaces. They can be lifted and slightly folded to funnel chopped food neatly into a pot. They're dishwasher safe, and roll up for portage or storage.

OUR SURPIE POLICE SAY: Due to our sale pricing MAX ORDER QUANTITY IS (5) Per Order. Any more and your order will fail in the shopping cart.

The smart cutters and choppers these days are using ceramic knives because they stay so sharp for so long, and who remembers to have their knives sharpened? Ours measure 7" long over all, with a red, green, or deep aqua handle, a 3" blade and a sheath. Don't go into the kitchen without one. Slice, dice, chop and mince, and forget about sharpening. Like you always do.

Forget watchmaking, you could write "A Tale of Two Cities" on a piece of tortellini with this triple magnifier visor. Magnifies from 1.8X to 4.8X. Has a flip-down 1.9X lens and a flip-down 4.5X loupe, plus dual white LEDs in a pivoting mount, powered by (2) "AAA" batteries each, not included. The whole thing is in a black plastic visor, 7-3/4" wide x 5-1/4" deep with a flexible plastic strap and adjustable dial control. Opens to 9" max dia, and has coated acrylic lenses. Now then: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....

2" flywheel in a well-made metal frame. The trick is the same as it has been for 100 years. Wind the string through the spindle, pull it firmly to set the flywheel spinning, and perform effortless balancing magic on pencil tips, string tightropes, and the like. We tend to forget that bicycles and aircraft navigation both rely heavily on gyroscopic principles. It's never too early to tell the kids. Besides, it's fun.

Cut your own. Our each is 16 feet of black flexible wire coated with 3/16" dia soft rubber, ready for you to snip off for your heavy-duty, padded twist-tie needs. Very nice stuff. Reusable. We're thinking cable bundling, sports equipments, tools, hoses, like that.

Or enough mechanical pencils to write all the copy for our catalogs until the cows come home—and cows have been back-ordered for years. Our each is a dozen TEK Writer™ precision 0.7mm pencils with top lead-advance, soft grip and anti-roll barrel. Includes (48) extra leads and a dozen extra erasers because to err is human. In an assortment of (6) colors, so one will always match your outfit.

Turn your garage into Rick’s Cafe in Casablanca with this easy-to-install adjustable three-arm ceiling/task light that shines a stunning 6,000 lumens into garages, workshops, closets and storerooms. A total of (144) cool-white SMD LEDs—(48) in each of the arms—swivel 90 degrees to illuminate corners, crannies and projects. Screws into standard light sockets and requires no tools or wiring. Measures 11” x 3-3/4”, has an estimated 50,000-hour lifetime. Please note, these do not work with dimmers. ETL Certified. Better hurry—the AS&S staff are throwing away their regular light bulbs and buying these up like lobster tacos. As a bonus, it looks like a ceiling fan in a place like Rick’s Cafe Americain. If we can’t have Paris, at least we’ll always have surplus.

These sell out fast, so get yours today!

Not available for expedited shipping.

Da Mare could use this to point out cracks in the infrastructure at Wrigley Field. You, having a forgiving nature, will resist the urge to point out cracks in da mayor's infrastructure. You will, of course, use it to point out chimney cracks to the tuck-pointer, a cracked limb to the tree-trimmer, and the crack in your profit picture during a slide presentation. You can do all that and much, much more with the highly visible bright light from this <1mW green laser pointer. It's an unbelievable tool. If you need a laser pointer that seems to go on forever and is so strong that you can actually see the beam in the dark, it will be the best low-cost investment you ever made. Or the coolest high-end toy. The 532nm (+/-10) Class II light is 5-5/8" long x 1/2" dia, with (2) "AAA" batteries (not included), a momentary-on switch, pocket clip. An absolute necessity for astronomy, construction, surveying, warehousing, inspection and other large sites. And for playing in the dark.

Pickles, tamales, red cabbage and the like keep getting tougher to open, so why not give yourself a little help with this (4)-size jar opener? It’s (2)-sided with one side handling 1-1/2” and 2” lids, and the other opening the 2-1/4” and 3" lids. The handle provides you with extra leverage, and a comfortable grip. Comes in an attractive red and gray, and it’s easy to store.