This isn't the Old West but you can still look stylish in these soft, thin, stretchy very comfortable, washable black face masks. One size fits most. For best results, hand wash and air dry.

Let's cut to the chase here -- buy these the first time you read this, or they're going to be gone! There aren't that many of these flexible chopping mats, and the versatile 15" x 12" x 0.024" thick mats are not only ideal for small kitchens where every inch counts, they're great for any kitchen, and for cookouts, camping and picnics. Our each is a set of (2) of the translucent Euro-look mats that protect countertops from sharp knives and fresh-from-the-oven cookies, and protect food from outdoor surfaces. They can be lifted and slightly folded to funnel chopped food neatly into a pot. They're dishwasher safe, and roll up for portage or storage.

OUR SURPIE POLICE SAY: Due to our sale pricing MAX ORDER QUANTITY IS (5) Per Order. Any more and your order will fail in the shopping cart.

A lovely mini-funnel, made for pouring Dad's special medicine into a hip flask, but just dandy for filling salt and pepper shakers or anything else with a little yap. Stainless steel with a 1-3/8" ID intake mouth and a 5/16" ID outlet. 1-7/8" tall OA.

Nothing screams HANDY! like Cotton PopUp wipes, little 3/4" diameter tablets that turn into 9" x 10" towelettes when submersed in water. Equally handy for campers, Navy Seals, toddler parents or anybody who slobbers a lot. They come in easy to take and store tubes, (8) per tube. so go out there and get dirty. They are made of cotton so they are perfect for cleaning in and around the home.

Looks like a cheap kid-sized tennis racket, but brother, this ain't for the kids. It's actually a fine way for adults to work on their upper-body strength and kill bugs at the same time. 18" long, with a 6" wide paddle lined with metal grid. A coil in the handle sends high voltage through the paddle when a button is pushed, hit a bug with it and the bug will bug you no more. We've seen these in other catalogs for about twice the price, so buy it from us.  2 AA batteries, not included.

Bigger than baseballs, made of wound-up stainless steel coil springs and tough as rhinoceros jerky, these 100-gram stainless pot scrubbers will make you scoff at those little pads that look like shredded wheat and sound like you need help at sea. Our each is a package of (6) silver scrubbers. Bonus: science fair materials!

The smart cutters and choppers these days are using ceramic knives because they stay so sharp for so long, and who remembers to have their knives sharpened? Ours measure 7" long over all, with a red, green, or deep aqua handle, a 3" blade and a sheath. Don't go into the kitchen without one. Slice, dice, chop and mince, and forget about sharpening. Like you always do.

And easy to store. One of the better pick-up tools we've seen. Folds to just over 16" to store, but locks open at 30" with spring steel arms on an aluminum frame. It has soft, suction-cup-shaped grabbers and big, locking pistol grip. Pretty good gripping capacity too-maybe to 10 lbs or so. Get one for Mom, because at her age she can't reach the things she used to. And then get another one for yourself, because you'll be Mom's age before you know it.

It’s the Forever Belt of late night fame, the no-holes ratcheting cinch for your expanding waist. Features a 32-position gear rack on the underside in 1/4” increments in lieu of holes. In 1-1/8” wide black leatherette, it can be cut to length and will fit waists from 22” to 44”.

Da Mare could use this to point out cracks in the infrastructure at Wrigley Field. You, having a forgiving nature, will resist the urge to point out cracks in da mayor's infrastructure. You will, of course, use it to point out chimney cracks to the tuck-pointer, a cracked limb to the tree-trimmer, and the crack in your profit picture during a slide presentation. You can do all that and much, much more with the bright light from this 5mW green laser pointer. It's an unbelievable tool. If you need a laser pointer that seems to go on forever and is so strong that you can actually see the beam in the dark, it will be the best low-cost investment you ever made. Or the coolest high-end toy. The 532nm Class IIIa light is 5-5/8" long x 1/2" dia, with (2) "AAA" batteries (not included), a momentary-on switch, pocket clip. (Sorry case not included). An absolute necessity for construction, surveying, warehousing, inspection and other large sites. And for playing in the dark.

One of our all-time favorite items, back in neon colors. These surprisingly sturdy fly-swatters have plastic grip-handles, mesh heads and extendability. Measure 10-1/4” long when compressed, but pull the 4-draw handle and they extend to a fly-smacking 28”. Yours will be bright yellow, lime green, fuchsia or orange, but they’re all attractive, and the flies won’t care.

OK, maybe it’s not cage-free, but this bar soap is handmade on an Amish farm in Springfield, Missouri, using Abraham Graeber’s family recipe, which contains “no cancer-causing chemicals,” according to the package. Because this soap is made by people and not machines, it’s good for the earth, too. Our each is (5) giant 5-ounce bars, approx 3-1/2" x 2-3/4" x 1-1/4". (For you youngsters out there, bars of soap are what humans used to use to get clean before there were liquid soap dispensers.)

DUE TO WEIGHT OUR SURPIE POLICE SAY: MAX ORDER QUANTITY IS (5) Per Order. Any more and your order will fail in the shopping cart. Contact us for larger volume orders

Just like the classic Yankee drill, but for the kitchen. Has that “as seen on the television” kinda feel. You push the handle of this 10” long spring-loaded whisk and it spins clockwise on the push, and reverses when you let up on it. The 10-tine head is 2-1/8” dia at the bottom x 2-1/8” long, with a little center pin to keep it off the bottom of the bowl or jar or whatever. In stainless steel.

Why does Roger always get the credit for the skull and crossbones pirate flag? We feel it is time to share and have elected Barry to the post because he just walked by the vast editorial department here at A.S.&S. (AKA "my desk") Our Jolly Barry flag is 3ft x 5 ft., black polyester with a reinforced edge containing grommets for flying. It has the traditional skull and crossbones in white with the added fillip that the skull is wearing an eye patch! Sail Away!!

But here’s a nightlight for your driveway or backyard anyway! By iZoom®, and direct from the late-night infomercials, this quad beam solar-powered light has (98) white COB LEDs across its 4-faces and a rechargeable lithium battery inside. It’s motion and light-sensitive, and shines brighter when it senses motion . Measures 3-3/4" x 5" x 1-3/4" and comes with a self-adhesive pad on the back, plus screws and mollies. You supply the darkness. Sells for over $15 at a popular home retailer.

It’s a ninefer. This 6” long x 1/2” hex ball-point pen has a rubber stylus at the other end, which unscrews to reveal a tiny driver with both small Phillips and regular heads, while the shaft has a little bubble level and (4) rulers: 0-4” x 1/16”; 0-10cm x 1mm; and both 1/200mm and 1/300mm rulers. The ninth part is our name on the side, so you remember where the coolest stuff comes from. Plus it’s in the ruler shade of yellow, with a pocket clip. (Sorry, no laser.) Need more ink? Our refill pack is a set of (2) black and (2) blue cartridges. Just pull out the silver knurled tip of the pen to screw in a new ink cartridge and your Great American Novel will be finished in no time.

Four fine funnels, a fantastic fare. Sturdy plastic, the biggest is 4-1/8" dia at the mouth, with a 1/2" dia spout, the smallest has a 1-7/8" dia mouth, 1/4" spout. The other (2) are in between. Frankly, it's freaky fun flowing fluids from four funnels!

What scratches your back but won't provide breakfast for you? It's our glow in the dark back scratcher of course. Has chicken like talon "hands" and extends to over 26” long, but shrinks to a pocket-sized 8-1/4”. Super duper handy to have around when your significant other says they just cut their finger nails.