OTHER HOUSE & GARDEN STUFF

This plush, ridiculously soft, polyester, faux fur robe works great straight out of the shower or in a ’70s lounge with your best platform heels. Unisex, like all great purple robes with two-tone brown collars and cuffs that look vaguely big cat-ish. Marked 3X, but we think it’s closer to L or XL. Measures a very manageable for all sizes 55” long. Put it on and you’ll instantly feel like a character in an old episode of Baretta. Priced at the very odd $22.73, but since it’s our first robe, complete with a classic belt tie, we’re happy to cut you a deal.

Jarvis Says: Mother's day is coming Add some Heated Massaging Slippers Here...Click

It’s back. Once upon a carnival, the bamboo back scratcher was the prize every kid came home with and there wasn’t an unscratched back in America--unless the kid came home with a goldfish, which are worthless for scratching backs. Now you can return to those thrilling days of yesteryear with our high-quality, 19” long bamboo back scratcher. Style may vary, but the relief your back feels won't, and you don’t even have to go to a carnival to get it. 

What scratches your back but won't provide breakfast for you? It's our glow in the dark back scratcher of course. Has chicken like talon "hands" and extends to over 26” long, but shrinks to a pocket-sized 8-1/4”. Super duper handy to have around when your significant other says they just cut their finger nails.

And easy to store. One of the better pick-up tools we've seen. Folds to just over 16" to store, but locks open at 30" with spring steel arms on an aluminum frame. It has soft, suction-cup-shaped grabbers and big, locking pistol grip. Pretty good gripping capacity too-maybe to 10 lbs or so. Get one for Mom, because at her age she can't reach the things she used to. And then get another one for yourself, because you'll be Mom's age before you know it.

Critter beware! The best thing about these Ultrasonic Pest Reject critter repellers? You just plug them in and let them work their magic. You’ll get (4) of them, each offering 850-1300 square feet of protection (or 80-120 square meters if your bugs are Canadian). Each plug-in draws a paltry 3W of power and looks like a computer mouse that hangs from a standard outlet. Sends out a 22-65 kHz wave that scares away insects and rodents but is outside of most people's hearing range.

But it will still keep the flying critters out of your kitchen. This hanging screen is made of a plastic fabric mesh and will fit doorways up to 35” x 82”, but works best in slightly narrower ones to allow some side overlap. Works great on campers, RVs, trailers and the like where you really need to let air flow or buy four and build a giant insect cage that can cover a small tree. Installs with adhesive hook-and-loop tabs and has a weighted bottom, so it won’t flap in the wind. Portable, handy and ready for summer. Just like you.

The rubber bumps on the end of this rolling massager are in rows that rotate independently to rub you the right way. The (6) rubber bumps are in (7) 1-1/4” dia rows on a three-draw telescoping handle that extends from 13” to 23” long, so you can reach the soles of your feet or massage your cat. (Some cats like it, some don’t, so a little distance might be good.) Juanita uses hers for physical therapy.

2-Pack ultrasonic pest repeller. Just plug in these 3-1/2" x 2-1/4" x 1" black or white devices that look like they were designed by the stealth bomber design team and the pests will flee. Package shows cockroaches, mosquitos, spiders, mice and ants and says to expect an increase of critter sightings at first as they scramble to get away from the noise only they can hear. Operates on a frequency that is inaudible to humans, 25-65KHz, works in 0-40°C (0-104°F) and lights up so you know it's running. Approx. 100' coverage per unit. It's recommended to place at least 12" above the floor and not behind any furniture that could block the sound.

From Conair® (the personal care products company, not the prison airline of movie fame), these ordinary-looking bedroom slippers are black with white plush trim and interiors, but have hidden heating elements and vibration massagers. The International Electric Slipper Association credits them with saving over 2.8 million marriages and relationships in this country alone in the past year. Size small/medium, which the box says means women's 6 - 9 or men's 4-1/2 – 7. So no Bigfoots, please. Includes an 8-foot power cord with a splitter that you plug into a wall socket, and into each slipper. Warmth and vibration are controlled by an in-line switch.

Bandages in tins. We feel sorry for those flesh-colored bandages that are just trying to hide. Stand up and be healed with bandages that make a statement! Say Oink with this classic metal box of (15) sterile photo reproductions of a raw bacon slice, plus a bonus plastic pig in every tin.  

Not a mystery, but an actual way to scratch your skull. Looks like a $29.95 neo-whisk from Grate & Borrow, but it’s really our all-time favorite stainless steel scalp massager. (Also a mid-century modern metal sculpture if you stand it up on the coffee table, where it’s handy for cranio-itchy moments anyway.) Rocket-shaped handle leads to a dozen spring tines with little bubble ends for your scratching and massaging pleasure. Measures 9-1/2” long overall.

Admiral Fitzroy used a device like this to determine weather changes aboard the HMS Beagle on Charles Darwin's expedition. This, of course, is why it’s known as Fitzroy’s Storm Glass. It’s believed that the different crystal formations inside the approx 11” tall x 1-1/2” dia glass tube with a 2-1/4” base indicate weather changes. Must be placed on an interior wall not subject to sudden temperature changes, sunlight or air from vents and may need to be tested in multiple locations. Follow the instructions carefully and give it about a week to stabilize. It goes without saying, but this is not a toy. It has flammable liquid inside, so no rough-housing near the Storm Glass!

It’s like a travel alarm got jealous of a smartphone. Measures 4-1/2” long x 1-3/4” in a rounded triangular shape. Functions as a clock, alarm, LED flashlight, and voice recorder that will take (12) notes/messages of (10) seconds each. The flashlight won't give your COB light any competition, but it's bright enough for find your shoes in a dark hotel room. In black and silver “for that high tech executive look.” You add a pair of “AA” batteries.

Galileo wasn’t just a character in a Queen song. He invented stuff, like this early thermometer, uncreatively named Galileo’s Thermometer. Looks sort of like a clear glass turkey baster, minus the bulb you squeeze, or a giant regular thermometer. But don’t stick this under your tongue or anywhere else. Stands 11” tall and it’s filled with water. Inside, (6) balls filled with colored liquid (and have temperature values hanging from them) float in the water, letting you know, using the principles of density and buoyancy, what the temperature is—from 64F to 84F. It’ll make you seem smart when you translate the balls’ positions for your guests. Even if you never use it to tell the temp, it’s a beauty for your shelf.

This kit also has lip gloss, eye shadow, foundation and sundry other things to blend, contour, detail and delight the inner makeup artist in us all. Don't leave home without using it, at least on Saturday night. Our each is a set of (12) brushes, from tiny to wide. Don't know the source, whether they’re synthetic or trimmed from the bellies of pampered sables. But they're all as soft as a kindergarten teacher's heart. In silver and copper, and packed in a matching tin case.

Give the poor beast an ice pack, just like in the movies, but in a zippy zebra print. We miss ice packs, frankly, and so should you. These are the classic design. You pick: the large one at approx 9” dia when flattened empty; or the double-trouble set with (1) large at 10” dia and (1) small at 6” dia. All have 1-7/8” ID mouths with gasketed screw caps, so they should also work with hot water.

Question: What should I stuff in my kid's Christmas stocking? It’ll be a teaching moment—you can explain the meta-ness of socks in a sock. These are especially nice socks for kids ages 4-6, or anyone with little feet, and you’ll get (9) pairs of them. That's enough to mix and match. Soles measure approx 5”-6” long from heel to toe. We've got them in a stylish Avenger™ pattern and the classic Star Wars™ hosiery theme. Packages are unmarked, which is the surplusiness factor. We'll reach in and grab a pack of 9-different pairs of the same universe, but at these prices why would you care?

OK, ok--we don’t mean it. Some of our best friends have little heads. These are mini-pillows for naps at your desk, or on airplanes, or wherever. They’re very soft and gooshy, with plush covers and zippers so you can remove the polyester bag of bead stuffing and wash the outside if you drool on it. (Don’t wash the stuffing or the gooshiness will be gone.) Measure just 9" long x 4" dia and we’ll pick a pair from our selection of pink, purple, baby blue or lime green.