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This pocket-sized mini-flashlight has (9) 405nm ultraviolet LEDs and myriad uses, from checking U.S. currency to working the door at your ultra-hip downtown clubs, spotting radiator and transmission fluid leaks, mineral identification, and (yes, it's true) locating lost scorpions in the dark. Measures approx 3-3/4" long x 1-1/8" dia with knurled sections so you won't lose your grip, and a wrist strap in case you do. You supply (3) "AAA" batteries and the scorpions.

Works on all of them except the ones stuck to your eyeballs. Corrosion-Be-Gone is a gel made to remove the schmutz from all types of battery terminals, circuit boards and contacts, on everything from cars to computer boards. Our each is a 0.3 oz jar.

Da Mare could use this to point out cracks in the infrastructure at Wrigley Field. You, having a forgiving nature, will resist the urge to point out cracks in da mayor's infrastructure. You will, of course, use it to point out chimney cracks to the tuck-pointer, a cracked limb to the tree-trimmer, and the crack in your profit picture during a slide presentation. You can do all that and much, much more with the highly visible bright light from this <5mW green laser pointer. It's an unbelievable tool. If you need a laser pointer that seems to go on forever and is so strong that you can actually see the beam in the dark, it will be the best low-cost investment you ever made. Or the coolest high-end toy. The 532nm (+/-10) light is 5-5/8" long x 1/2" dia, with (2) "AAA" batteries (not included), a momentary-on switch, pocket clip. An absolute necessity for astronomy, construction, surveying, warehousing, inspection and other large sites. And for playing in the dark.

Don't toss it and buy a universal remote. (How many things are really universal, after all?) Try this jar of Keypad Fix, designed to clean and restore conductivity to the carbon on the keys and the copper PC board pads that make up the rubber-coated switches on remotes, game controllers, and security keypads. Contains enough to coat over 200 button contacts.

You're buying the drinks and this wacky, yet debonair, bird with a top hat and plastic base (7" tall OA) can't get his fill of water. Get him started, and he dips his beak into your glass repeatedly. How? Fluid inside his glass body condenses from the evaporative cooling of the water off the bird's beak, making it top heavy and dunking it back into the water. The condensate rejoins the liquid pool in the bird's bulb, and he tips up again. Process continues indefinitely. It works, but it's not any more than moderately well made, and not any more than moderately priced. WARNING! The fluid and dye inside the bird can permanently stain, and the bird's glass body can easily be broken. Children are fascinated by the bobbing bird, and the educational possibilities are great. But they should watch him, not fondle him!! Manufacturer warning states this item is not intended for children 8 and under. 

We don't like to brag, but it's tough not to in a case like this. This is a wonderful pen-shaped laser pointer, 5-1/4" long, flat black or silver with gold pocket clip and head. It throws a red point a loong way (we've thrown it two city blocks at night, and it would've gone farther, but buildings got in the way). And what are we so proud of? We've seen a very similar item-not identical, mind you, but essentially the same-in one of those glossy, toys-for-grown-men catalogs. Their price? $20! We're proud not to be profit-mongers, buy it here and you can take pride in your smart shopping habits. (2) AAA Batteries are not included.

Our common red or green pointer too blasé for you? Make your point violetly with one of these rare violet laser pointers. Its non-slip black rubberized case with silver accents is 6-1/8” long x 7/16”dia, with a momentary switch and a pocket clip. Does not Include the (2) “AAA” batteries you’ll need. 

Why does Roger always get the credit for the skull and crossbones pirate flag? We feel it is time to share and have elected Barry to the post because he just walked by the vast editorial department here at A.S.&S. (AKA "my desk") Our Jolly Barry flag is 3ft x 5 ft., black polyester with a reinforced edge containing grommets for flying. It has the traditional skull and crossbones in white with the added fillip that the skull is wearing an eye patch! Sail Away!!

Bring back the '70s for nine bucks. Screw this red-green-blue LED prismatic, rotating bulb into any standard medium-base light socket and your room turns into disco heaven. Bulb will stand about 5" above or below the socket. Draws approx 6W. CJ recommends any Donna Summer album for use with it. Please note that the remote depicted on the packaging is not included.

Call it a gonzo version of our best work-light, this 4-5/8" x 2-1/4" x 1" cigarette-pack-size light has (60) white LEDs in a 3" x 1-1/2" window with a bright mode and a way brighter mode that would blind a turkey vulture, plus (4) more for a standard flashlight mode. Includes a flip-out easel, hook and a disc magnet. Comes with (3) "AAA"s. Manufacturer rates this bad boy at 900 lumens. 

Hang this holographic prism in the window for delicate, changing color effects. As the sun shines through, it throws splashes of red, yellow, green, blue, violet and more around the room. The glass disc is 4-1/8" dia x 1/4" thick with a chrome-look frame. Comes with a suction cup hanger to mount it on a window. (Find a way to make it rotate for an especially cool effect!)

Spin this spindle and watch it turn in perpetuity!!  Well, for a long time anyway.  Inside the 5-1/2" long colored plastic spindle are magnets which are repelled by magnets in the 5" x 3" black plastic base.  The variously colored spindle floats in the air above the base thus virtually free of normal friction. Nifty desk toy named "Revolution".

Hook these on the zipper pulls on your jackets and you'll never be in the dark again. Tiny LED lights measure 1" x 9/16" in a 5/16" thick oblong, and come on a 7/8" long lanyard clip. We'll pick some that will go with your eyes, in blue, green, black or red. Include little button cell batteries that can be replaced if you're the sort of person who does that.

The base of this micro-fiber-optic light is a 1-5/8" high plastic cone in red, green or blue. The tips of the super-thin, 7-1/2" long fiber optics are the color in the cone and flare out in a bouncy spray approx 8" across at the top. We'll pick a color just for you. The Hint-o-Matic says: "Nice on any surface, but worthy of a royal wedding when glued on top of a hat. Just cut a hole in the hat to get to the switch." The (3) button-cell batteries (AG-13) are included and replaceable.

Grow a beautiful garden full of plants that love your soil! It's easy if you know your soil's pH, and we have a gauge to help you! Stick the probe into moist soil for the pH to register in a separate 4" x 2" x 1" gauge box on the end of a 26 inch cord. That lets you read the gauge without having to lay on the bug and worm covered ground to see it! A needle indicates the pH on a scale of 3.5-9, and you get a list of which plants like which pH levels.

Time was, these service bells were on every teacher's desk and the front desk of every hotel in the world. They're still a classically beautiful design, and they'll still bring folks running when you tap the little plunger on top. The shiny matte chrome bell sits on an enameled steel base and the whole thing is 3-1/8" dia x 2-1/4" tall.

Bandages in tins. We feel sorry for those flesh-colored bandages that are just trying to hide. Stand up and be healed with bandages that make a statement! Say Oink with this classic metal box of (15) sterile photo reproductions of a raw bacon slice, plus a bonus plastic pig in every tin.  

Bigger than a baseball across the top, this is one ginormous jewel. You pick a clear or translucent-sky-blue, 24% lead crystal, cut-glass gem. It’s 3-1/8” dia at the top, tapering to point 2-1/8” deep. Could be mounted in a stunning, but really, really, really big engagement ring.