From the harmonica kings themselves at the Hohner company, comes this 4" long, 3-octave plus, plastic harmonica, in C, the people's key. We'll pick one in an attractive shade of red, green, blue, yellow or whatever color shows up next, and send it in a little vinyl case.

The possibilities are endless with this very familiar-looking building-block tape. Yes, Virginia, it’s flexible rubber tape with bumps that will mate with the world’s most popular interlocking building blocks. Rhymes with toaster waffles. Among other things, it means your little brother won’t be able to knock the house you just built off the table. Tape comes in 39” rolls at 5/8” wide, and you’ll get (2) rolls from our selection in red, pink, light green, orange, purple, gray and black. And there’s 3M adhesive on the back of it.

Or the Swanee whistle. Whatever you call it, this little slide whistle (just consider it the smallest trombone in the universe) has an outsized musical history. No elevator has ever fallen in a cartoon without its accompaniment, and no jug band is complete without one, but Louis Armstrong also played one on his Hot Five recordings, and Ravel even required one in an opera score. In assorted plastic colors with a steel slide, 6-7/8" long x 1/2" dia.

Here's a little music box to crank. These are really cute, with a very nice sound, and they're in clear acrylic cases so you, or impressionable youngsters, can watch them work. They measure 2-1/4"x 2" x 1-1/4" with a 7/8" crank. We'll pick one that plays When You Wish upon a Star, Row, Row, Row your Boat, Brahms' Lullaby, or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. We won't pick the one that plays the score from Die Walküre because the wheel is just enormous.

Stick a coin on top of the fishy plate on this plastic coin bank and it triggers a Hiya Kitty inside to mew some cat noises, then peeks out and reaches out a paw to snatch the coin. The box, which is mysteriously made to look like an fruit crate, measures 4-3/4" x 4" x 3-1/2". You’ll need to add a couple of “AA” batteries but that’s the standard price of kitten cuteness today. CLICK HERE for video.

Or singing suppositories. The pair is very magnetic, whatever they are. The 1-3/4" long prolate spheroids look like highly polished black hematites. Hold them an inch apart in your palm, toss 'em into the air and listen to them make a sound like the cyber-crickets. Or an electrocuted chicken. The manufacturer suggests keeping these mega-magnets away from computers, pacemakers, TV sets and credit cards.

is best done with the sacred mother of all novelty items, the original Whoopee Cushion. Marlon Brando owned one. Of course he did, they're both American classics, except the cushion was born in Toronto. Ours is the classic 8" version.

Special for your beginner tootler. Our black (ABS plastic) soprano recorder measures 12-5/8" long and includes a plastic carrying case, cleaning rod, and a sheet of fingering instructions.

Emergency underpants in a can. Says it all, doesn't it? Quite stretchable in a Tyvekish white fabric, "one pair fits most adults." They're hip-hugger, semi-bikini, translucent type drawers, so despite the smiling man wearing them and a red bow-tie on the can, some (insecure) guys might find these just a touch jeune fille-ish. "Safe, Sanitary, Secure." Says so right on the 3" x 1-1/2" x 2/3" flip-top metal can. Better buy (3) in case of a long weekend.

It could have been called an Alabama Buzzer after Alabama Vest, the man who invented it. Or a Clegghorn, after Thaddeus Von Clegg, the clock master who fabricated the first one. But the hand-crafted 4-3/4" long steel instrument was a simple amusement, and the 1840s were a simple time. So it's simply a kazoo.