Your long nasal nightmare is over because we now carry a battery-operated nose-hair trimmer. (Also good for another nightmare--ear hair.) The steel blade is recessed so there’s no danger of becoming a latter-day Vincent Van Gogh or Tycho Brahe (just look him up). Easy to clean under the tap, and comes with a blade cover and brush. Runs on (1) “AA” battery (included), and measures just 4-3/4” long.

Ankles, knees and elbows—when they’re strained and sprained, we recommend this 3” wide, non-latex, flexible Coflex bandage. On an 8-foot roll that stretches, like, well, an elastic bandage, to almost twice that length. Sweat- and water-resistant, the bandage adheres to itself. To match your uniform or exercise outfit, you’ll get a box of (4) bandages, (1) each in red, royal blue, aqua and purple.

We feel sorry for those flesh-colored bandages that are just trying to hide. Stand up and be healed with bandages that make a statement! Say Oink with this box of (15) sterile photo reproductions of a raw bacon slice, plus a bonus plastic pig in every box. Mustache bandages work even if you cut something other than your lip; just tell people it's a mustache transplant. You get (15) in (4) hairy styles, plus a secret gift.

It's either a telescoping aluminum backscratcher, a fork for people whose elbows don't bend, or a sand rake for miniature Zen gardens. You pick. The 5-draw shaft extends from 6-5/8" to 20-3/8" long, the 5-tine rake is 1-3/16" wide, and it has a pocket clip.

This 5-vial set of amber bottles comes in a clear vinyl 5” x 7” pouch with (5) internal bottle sleeves, a 6th sleeve for the eye-dropper, and slider closure. Vials hold 8ml and measure 2-1/2” tall x 1/2” dia with black plastic screw caps. The dropper is 4” long with a black rubber bulb. All you add is the essential oils, although if you used inessential oils, who would know?

It’s an AS&S debut--socks with fun built right in. We’d say they’re wacky, but we hate saying wacky. These are all cotton/poly/nylon/spandex blends, which is a lot of blending right there, medium men’s, but really, they’d pretty much fit most feet, and they’re gender-indifferent. You pick the blue/red/yellow with a rubber chicken on the side; the two-tone green with pickles rampant; the four-tone with Bigfoot; the black and blue with Tesla coils; or the green/black with a Plague Doctor.

Our each is (84) inches of stretchy, 6” wide cotton (we think) white gauze. How stretchy is it? Ours pulled out to about (11) feet, which covers a lot of owies.

Just your basic wrist straps with basic clips on the ends. You choose either 1/4" wide x 9" long in  black or 1/8" Dia. x 5" long in assorted colors. Perfect for I.D. badges, locker keys, or even hamster leashes.

Anodized aluminum channel, 2-5/8" long and just wide enough to hold a 5/8" wide card or tile which is up to about 1/16" thick. It has a spring clip in the channel to secure the card and a pair of "tie tacs" on the back to hold it on your bosom. Flaunt your name, "I Love Minot", "Addicted to Surplus" or whatever message you feel is appropriate in this age of self disclosure. We'll pick at least (2) different colors for you from among black, gold, red, purple, blue and silver.

And easy to store. One of the better pick-up tools we've seen. Folds to just over 16" to store, but locks open at 30" with spring steel arms on an aluminum frame. It has soft, suction-cup-shaped grabbers and big, locking pistol grip. Pretty good gripping capacity too-maybe to 10 lbs or so. Get one for Mom, because at her age she can't reach the things she used to. And then get another one for yourself, because you'll be Mom's age before you know it.