What scratches your back but won't provide breakfast for you? It's our glow in the dark back scratcher of course. Has chicken like talon "hands" and extends to over 26” long, but shrinks to a pocket-sized 8-1/4”. Super duper handy to have around when your significant other says they just cut their finger nails.

The rubber bumps on the end of this rolling massager are in rows that rotate independently to rub you the right way. The (6) rubber bumps are in (7) 1-1/4” dia rows on a three-draw telescoping handle that extends from 13” to 23” long, so you can reach the soles of your feet or massage your cat. (Some cats like it, some don’t, so a little distance might be good.) Juanita uses hers for physical therapy.

We feel sorry for those flesh-colored bandages that are just trying to hide. Stand up and be healed with bandages that make a statement! Say Oink with this box of (15) sterile photo reproductions of a raw bacon slice, plus a bonus plastic pig in every box. Mustache bandages work even if you cut something other than your lip; just tell people it's a mustache transplant. You get (15) in (4) hairy styles, plus a secret gift.

Dead-center at the confluence of cute and useful, this mini digital panel-mount thermometer has a suction cup on the back for mounting pretty much anywhere. Has a probe on the end of a 10-foot cord, a range of -58 to 158 degrees F and -50 to 70 degrees C. Measures just 1-7/8" x 15/16" x shy of 1/2" with clips and the suction cup, and has a 1-3/4” LCD screen. Includes an AG13 battery.

It’s an AS&S debut--socks with fun built right in. We’d say they’re wacky, but we hate saying wacky. These are all cotton/poly/nylon/spandex blends, which is a lot of blending right there, medium mens' at 18" long, but really, they’d pretty much fit most feet, and they’re gender-indifferent. You pick the blue/red/yellow with a rubber chicken on the side; the two-tone green with pickles rampant; the four-tone with Bigfoot; the black and blue with Tesla coils; or the green/black with a Plague Doctor.

Keep the plants happy, the corks tight, and the tobacco moist. Our tiny hygrometer/thermometer combo is made for greenhouses, wine cellars/fridges, and humidors, but works equally well for your bedroom, because you don't want to dry out either. Measures 2-1/16" x 1-9/16" x 9/16" thick with a 1-5/8" x 11/16" digital LCD read-out. Shows temps from 14-140°F (+/- 2), humidity from 10-99% (+/- 6%), with min/max readings and a clear button. Stands on an easel or mounts with tape or a tiny magnet, all included, along with a button-cell battery.

Our each is (84) inches of stretchy, 6” wide cotton (we think) white gauze. How stretchy is it? Ours pulled out to about (11) feet, which covers a lot of owies.

Anodized aluminum channel, 2-5/8" long and just wide enough to hold a 5/8" wide card or tile which is up to about 1/16" thick. It has a spring clip in the channel to secure the card and a pair of "tie tacs" on the back to hold it on your bosom. Flaunt your name, "I Love Minot", "Addicted to Surplus" or whatever message you feel is appropriate in this age of self disclosure. We'll pick at least (2) different colors for you from among black, gold, red, purple, blue and silver.

Just your basic wrist straps with basic clips on the ends. You choose either 1/4" wide x 9" long in  black or 1/8" Dia. x 5" long in assorted colors. Perfect for I.D. badges, locker keys, or even hamster leashes.

They're rubber-backed and in an attention-getting color that Accounts Payable Barb assures us is Lagoon Blue. Measure 27" x 18" with (2) corners slightly more rounded than the other two, as floor mats will do. In a short bristly nylon shag sort of cut.