INCREDIBLE ON SALE ITEMS!

This plush, ridiculously soft, polyester, faux fur robe works great straight out of the shower or in a ’70s lounge with your best platform heels. Unisex, like all great purple robes with two-tone brown collars and cuffs that look vaguely big cat-ish. Marked 3X, but we think it’s closer to L or XL. Marked 22W-24W and measures 55” long. Put it on and you’ll instantly feel like a character in an old episode of Baretta. Priced at the very odd $22.73, but since it’s our first robe, complete with a classic belt tie, we’re happy to cut you a deal.

We have to say, we’d love to see someone make a Red Fusion movie, or a Red Fusion soft drink. Until then, we’ll keep on loving this red Fusion Pro silicone tape. It’s water-retardant, self-fusing, 1” wide x 10 feet long. The pros use it for repairs and insulation because it stretches, sticks to itself and keeps water out—three things you often want in a roll of tape. The red color is just a bonus.

Got an inadequate hose? Nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve been there. Well, some people we know have. This little pressure-washer gizmo might do the trick when you’re cleaning up your Benz. Connects to a standard hose to create a powerful jet spray. Measures 18” long and has a 12” flex extension with a double-sided soap dispenser. Also comes with a car wash mitt and a towel. Pays for itself after a single wash.

Can you say orrery kit? That’s what this is to an astronomer. (Named for Charles Boyle, 4th Earl of Orrery in County Cork.) Your orrery has the sun and planets out to Neptune on a gear-driven 6” x 4” base. You’ll get all the parts, plus (8) paint pots and a brush. The finished model will be approx 12” wide x 4-1/4” tall. For ages 8+.

Tube tents are tubes in the sense that they're one piece, with floors, and can be used as shelters, ground cover or or blankets in emergencies or disasters. This one is bright orange nylon with an aluminized coating on the inside for insulation. Measures 82" x 36". Includes 23 feet of nylon rope for hanging between trees or posts and (4) 9" zinc-plated steel stakes.

This Kronos LED alarm clock is also a 4000 mAH power bank. Or maybe the power bank is a clock. Either way, more power to it. In black, it measures approx 6” x 3” x a slim 1/2” and packs a lithium polymer (LiPo) battery with DC 5V/1.6A. Has (2) USB outputs and (1) micro USB input. Face lights up with blue dots, which display time, date and power bank battery percentage. Includes USB to micro USB cord, and detailed, illustrated instructions.

Nobody escapes the mindfulness movement, not even cryptozoological Sasquatches seeking Satori. From deep in the northwest woods come these vinyl Bigfoots, sitting cross-legged and contemplating hirsute-being and nothingness. Most will be in Bigfoot Brown, with the occasional Abominable White and Yeti Beige appearing, sorry no special requests. You'll get (2) tranquil sasquatch at 2” tall, which technically makes them little Bigfoots.

You don’t chill and guzzle this 4-pack of Lights in front of a game. These are actual light-up lights, in RGB LED color, with a remote control. Lettuce explain. They’re called LUMN8™ lights, which we can appreciate, considering we just wrote “Lettuce explain.” Measure 2-3/4” dia each x approx 1” thick—like little hockey pucks—with (10) super-bright LEDS each, (10) brightness levels and (13) colors, including cool white. They have fade/jump modes, too, and take (3)” AAA” batteries each.

Jarvis says: New edition now includes batteries and a second remote! Wow!

We’re loving this transparent, clear-ish/white-ish plastic box with an oh-so-satisfying snap-close lock. In fact, we can’t stop opening it and snapping it shut. Measures 3-1/2" x 1-1/2" x 1/2" with a hinged lid and the afore-mentioned snap closure. It’s not water-tight, but it’s great for vitamins or other pills, or organizing small parts like SD cards, screws, nuts, bolts, washers, tacks, paper clips—stuff like that. You’ll get (6) boxes, and you’ll wish you had more.

Of course you want to be a ninja, but who can afford ninja school tuition? This ninja obstacle course slacker line training tool, engineered to hold up to (250) lbs. is like taking an online YourTubie class instead. Made of strong tow-strap material, 42 feet long x 2” wide in royal blue. Stretch it between (2) trees using the included heavy-duty ratchet and swing away. You could use it to strap a load down, too. But for aspiring ninjas, the kit includes (2) protective tree covers, carrying bag and (14) removable loops that you can add stuff to. Detailed instructions included. Ages 3+ and requires adult supervision at all times..

Jarvis Syas: Loops, ladders, swings etc... not included, this is the slacker line to hang them from.

If your beads need reaming, nothing reams beads like diamond-coated bead reamers. This quartet includes a 5" tapered tip, 3-1/2" conical tip, a3-1/2" cylinder with a conical tip and a 4" pointed tip, all with color-coded plastic handles, and all ready to meet your most sophisticated bead-reaming needs.

Before fishing got all modern with high-tech reels and rods, and lines and hooks, our ancestors caught seafood dinners with pointy things. Return to those simpler days with this 9” Fishing Spear Head from Crate Club by Martin Brothers. Technically it’s a tactical survival tool, but that just means it’s super-high quality and durable. Made of 3/16” thick stainless steel, you can use it as a (2)- or (4)-point spear. Assembles easily and folds flat for storage. All you supply is the stick that the spear attaches to, and the hunting spirit. The fish will respect you more with a spear—trust us.

Forget watchmaking, you could write "A Tale of Two Cities" on a piece of tortellini with this triple magnifier visor. Magnifies from 1.8X to 4.8X. Has a flip-down 1.9X lens and a flip-down 4.5X loupe, plus dual white LEDs in a pivoting mount, powered by (2) "AAA" batteries each, not included. The whole thing is in a black plastic visor, 7-3/4" wide x 5-1/4" deep with a flexible plastic strap and adjustable dial control. Opens to 9" max dia, and has coated acrylic lenses. Now then: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....

The rubber bumps on the end of this rolling massager are in rows that rotate independently to rub you the right way. The (6) rubber bumps are in (7) 1-1/4” dia rows on a three-draw telescoping handle that extends from 13” to 23” long, so you can reach the soles of your feet or massage your cat. (Some cats like it, some don’t, so a little distance might be good.) Juanita uses hers for physical therapy.

Call us crazy but we love coming home from the wilderness alive. This is why we always carry a survival whistle like this one. It’s safety orange, and 3” long with an 8" bungee lanyard. It’s also plastic with a dual chamber design and no moving parts, so it won’t freeze up or stick to your lips in extreme cold. Ward off predators, call for help, or just ref a nice game of hoops out there. We’ll send you (2) whistles per order.

Our hand-held knife and scissors sharpener has a pair of tungsten carbide heads pre-set at the correct angle for keeping an edge on things. Just rest the blade in the notch and pull. Pistol-grip style with a guard, in black plastic. Measures 6" x 5/8" wide, with reversible and replaceable carbide cutting heads.

This hard-plastic ducky is like a rubber ducky, but with a pull-back mechanism that makes it roll on its own. Who doesn’t love a pull-back duck? In authentic rubber-ducky yellow with (2) rubber wheels on the bottom, independent suspension and no fuel required. No batteries, either. This thing basically drives itself. Let’s see a rubber ducky do that.

And then give us a little tweeze, and a couple more for luck. Our 4-piece stainless steel tweezer set includes: 4-5/8" long bent tweezers; 4-1/2” fine point; 4-5/8” cross-locks; and 4-1/4” blunt-tip stamp tweezers with 1/4” wide tips for you philatelists.